It's A Small World After All...

You know that game "6 degrees to Kevin Bacon" where you try to connect celebrities to a Kevin Bacon movie? I suck at it. But, that is irrelevant. The point here is that the world is a small, small place. Also, dangerous. Case in point: Caleb is dating this girl...we'll call her Mary. Mary goes to the high school where I teach. Caleb also has a friend...Suzie. Suzie is the daughter of a woman (Martha) I work with here at my high school. Suzie goes to Caleb's high school, but Suzie know's Mary(who goes to the high school where I teach) . Turns out Mary is taking a class from my friend, Martha, (mother of Suzie). And Suzie is in two classes with Caleb. Caleb tells Suzie all about Mary during class. Suzie tells her mother (Martha) all about Caleb and Mary. Suzie's mother comes to me and says "OH MY GOSH! Mary is DARLING! I bet Caleb and Mary are SOOOO cute together!" I laugh. Mary then goes to Martha's class and Martha, innocently, says, "How's Caleb!?". Mary is MORTIFIED that her teacher knows her boyfriend, sort of. Mary tells Caleb that Martha asked about him and now I am in trouble with Caleb for talking to Martha and Mary. Which I haven't. Martha has talked to Mary and to me, but I have initiated none of these conversations. Nevertheless, all this talking is my fault and I am in trouble. Suzie is also mad at her mother for talking to Mary and I about what Mary told Suzie and what Suzie now told her mother. We are both in trouble. Sigh. Cue the circus music...

Happy days are here again!

When last I left you, dear readers, things must have seemed pretty...bleak. I apologize if my negativity brought anyone else down into grumpiness.
In the days since Monday (Dark, evil Monday) the grumpiness has dissipated. One reason for my new, more sunny, outlook is that all the 'calling people I don't know' (one of several things I 'hated' on Monday) paid off! Several of the places I have contacted about jobs have replied! Yippee! One, in particular, would be incredibly interesting. I will say no more, for fear of jinxing myself, but if you find yourself with a few free moments in the days to come, do please send 'good luck' vibes out into the universe for me! And, while you're at it, throw in a few for Isaac since we are quickly approaching his return to flight school! The countdown continues-28 days until we leave for Arizona. Isaac is dutifully studying his textbooks and watching the flight school instructional videos, sent to him by ATP and is sooooo excited to get started. I get to hear all about wind patterns and VFR conditions these days. It is actually pretty interesting-I'm vicariously learning all sorts of stuff I never knew I didn't know!
And, in totally unrelated news-I have started another quilt. After working on the first one for so long, it felt weird to have 'nothing' to do. So, I got some new fabric (various shades of red, cream and light brown-so pretty) and have started a "Log Cabin" style quilt. Maybe this one won't take a year!

Things I hate...

That's right. Things I hate. This morning, I woke up on the proverbial "wrong side of the bed" and realized that there are many things I hate. I hate crunchy peanut butter. Have you ever had crunchy butter? No. Why? Because butter is supposed to have a lovely smooth texture. As a member of the butter family, crunchy peanut butter is a horrible mutation of a wonderful thing. If I was in charge of the world, there would be no crunchy peanut butter. I also hate alarm clocks. Even when set to cheerful, wake-up-and-start-your-day-with-a-good-attitude music rather than the wake-up-and-kill-someone beeping, I really hate my alarm clock. I also hate the fact that, without fail, I wake-up 10 minutes before it is supposed to ring. Why, WHY can't I actually sleep for those 10 minutes, rather than lying in bed, half-asleep, waiting for the stupid alarm to go off? I hate cold showers. Enough said. I hate paper work. I hate stupid, bureaucratic, nonsensical paperwork that only exists to justify the job of someone too untalented to do anything else. I hate looking for a job. I hate calling people I don't know on the phone. I hate it when my computer won't work the way it is supposed too. Sigh. As you can see, this list could go on forever. Harumph.

Parent Teacher Conferences

Tonight and tomorrow night I have parent teacher conferences. They are the bane of my existence as a teacher. For those of you who have children or who might have children someday I have several words of advice for how to handle parent teacher conferences at the high school level:
1. If your child has an A and you do not have questions/concerns to discuss, please stay home. There is absolutely no reason for you to come wait in line for half an hour, to talk to me for only 2 seconds when the conversation will follow this pattern:
ME: Nice to see you again. Little Suzie still has an A. 100% it looks like! Do you have any questions or concerns?
PARENT: Nope.
ME: Great!
...Awkward silence until the parent decides that they have demonstrated that they are sufficiently 'involved' in their child's life and can reasonably leave...
2. Leave your child at home. It is a whole lot easier to tell you that your child makes me want to become a Tibetan Buddhist nun if he is not sitting there staring at me.
3. I can only be cheerful and smiley for so long. If you come to me 5 minutes before the end of three and a half hour stretch of parent teacher conferences, which come after an 8 hour day of teaching, and expect to have a long, detailed conversation about how I am not meeting your student's many and diverse needs, please do not be offended if I beat you with sticks.
4. Related to Number 2: I really would rather you didn't yell at your child in front of me. It makes me uncomfortable and I have unpleasant thoughts about what you do to your children when no one, much less a gym full of teachers and parents, are around to monitor your behavior.
5. Please do not complain about your child's other parent to me. I don't need to know that her mother/father is wholly inadequate as a parent and won't help her with her homework while you are slaving away at your job. I really, really don't want to know.

So, there you have it. Parent teacher conference etiquette for the 21st century. I just wish there was a way to communicate these rules to the parents I will actually see tonight.

Hooray!

On Saturday, my high school hosted the region debate tournament. I got volunteered to be in charge of this fun filled event months ago and was promised that "it isn't that hard!". Lies. Dirty, nasty lies. I spent hours preparing for over a hundred debaters to show up at my school, use our classrooms and, hopefully, qualify for the state tournament. Thankfully, I am blessed to have the world's most helpful husband, the best assistant coach on the planet (who, incidently is also married to a very nice and helpful man),a mother who took pity on me, and a very patient custodial staff. Isaac came to school with me at 6:30 in the morning on Saturday to help set up. He then spent most of the day judging Student Congress (not the most exciting event, which is why he was judging. No one else would). When he finished judging he immediately began cleaning up. By the time I was done presenting awards, he had cleaned most of the common areas we had used. The very patient custodial staff only had to empty trash cans and lock doors. My mother took the place of Kelsey, who destroyed her knee at dance practice and couldn't come judge for me. The amazing assistant coach took care of feeding 150 debaters, 60 judges and 10 coaches. Her darling husband ran errands, checked ballots, and helped Isaac clean up. Hooray for wonderful people! Because of their help, all went well. The highlights of the day were that no one died and the school did not burn down. The fact that most of our team qualified for state was a wonderful added bonus. :-) The trouble with all of this is that, for the past week and a half, my brain has been totally focused on getting this tournament set up. Now, I have this horrible feeling that I have forgotten and neglected other important tasks, but my brain is mush and I can't quite remember what those things might be. I hope they weren't too important.