Thursday, February 2, 2012

A little advice...

 Dear Friends, Family and Random Internet People;

If ever you decide to use your air pop popcorn popper, only to discover that the little protective hood has gone missing (probably during your epic cross-country move), do not decide that it "will be fine". It will not be fine. You will find yourself frantically trying to corral renegade popcorn into a bowl. The popcorn will not want to be corraled. As you attempt the impossible, a renegade, scalding hot kernal of unpopped popcorn will fly through the air and directly down the gaping top of your peasant blouse, where it will become logged between your bra and very sensitive parts of your body. You will then screech loudly and give up trying to corral the popped popcorn and will instead begin a rather tragic dance routine as you try desperately to remove said scalding hot un-popped kernal of popcorn from your clothes. Whilst you are performing your audition for "So You Think You Can Dance: Popcorn Edition", the popper will continue to pop the popcorn. But you will not be there to corral it. The popcorn will, in fact, hit the ceiling and walls and floor and, yes, even you. And then, you will finally get the popcorn out of your bra. It will have left blisters. Painful blisters. In unmentionable places. You will be sad. Just don't do it. Don't. Do. It.

With regret,