Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Clandestine Service is OUT

This week is a co-worker's last week at our esteemed employer. It fell to me, Erin, to plan her goodbye and goodluck shindig for tomorrow. How hard is this? Right? Well. Turns out planning a surprise party is MUCH more difficult than you might imagine.

Flaw #1 in the Grand Surprse Party Plan: Outlook Express Email has a mind of it's own. I sent out a mass email inviting people to the shindig. I CAREFULLY deleted people who did not yet know about my co-worker's departure (figuring she'd want to tell these people herself and then, once she did, I could invite them). Deletion? EPIC FAIL. EVERY SINGLE person I deleted actually GOT the email. So, my poor co-worker had people coming up to her all day-all of them nearly hysterical-asking her WHY she didn't tell them she was leaving. SIGH. When she asked how they knew they ALL said "Erin told me in her email!" Well, you can imagine how the rest of the conversation went from there...

Flaw #2 in the Grand Surprise Party Plan: Cubicle walls are not sound proof. Keeping a surprise in a cube forest is nearly impossible. Even a whisper carries as if you were shouting. Today alone I heard at least 5 conversations that sounded like this "Whisper Whisper Whisper PARTY ON FRIDAY Whisper Whisper Whisper" Sigh. I am sure she heard them.

Flaw #3 in the Grand Surprise Party Plan: Turns out, Erin can't keep a secret. So. In the end, she knows any way. Why? I blame Outlook (see above). Today, I sent a reminder email. I CAREFULLY checked the "to" line to ensure the co-workers email was not there. I had another co-worker check to. In the end? She got it anyway.(A MIND OF ITS OWN, I TELL YOU) Sigh. I suppose this just goes to show I was not intended to be a spy. Nor was I meant to be the planner of any surprise shindig. Let this be a lesson to you.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Epic Fail...

In case you were wondering, Lysol disinfecting wipes and hand sanitizer are not an effective "pandemic prevention program". Yes folks, despite Very Thorough HR Lady's best efforts to educate us all about proper cubicle hygiene, Swine Flu has come to the office.

Pandemic Prevention Program? Epic. Fail.

Good thing I have a natural immunity to influenza. And strep throat. The CDC should study me...

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Those Poor Balloons...

Today, I had the following conversation over IM with a co-worker:

Erin: Have you ever been to the Balloon Fiesta in New Mexico?
Co-Worker: The what?
Erin: I'll take that as a no. Here's the link
Co-Worker (after looking at the link): WHAT IS THAT!? What do you do with those?! Do you RIDE in those?!
Erin: Ummm...I don't, but some people do. Have you never heard of a hot air balloon?!
Co-Worker: I've heard of them, but I don't think I've ever seen one before!
Erin: Did you grow up under a ROCK?!
Co-Worker: Don't mock me because I am foreign.
Erin: I don't mock you because you are foreign, I mock you because you are odd.
Co-Worker: Whatever; why would anyone go to this anyway?
Erin: This is a big deal! They have pins and everything! Like the Olympics!
Co-Worker: That's just mean! Do they at least wait until the end of the festival?!
Co-Worker: The pins! Why would they pin the balloons?! What if someone is still in it?!
hysterical laughter
Erin: They are pins like you would wear on your shirt? They don't stick them in the balloons!
Co-Worker: Stop laughing at me! I'm foreign! STOP LAUGHING!

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried...