Friday, December 19, 2008

Best Christmas Present Ever

So, my loving, generous and thoughtful husband gave me a Christmas gift a little early this year. It was cheap(free,really), only something he could give and will likely last for a long time. I am sure you are just itching to know (so you can immediately go tell your husbands to get on the ball). He gave me....
That's right. He gets this little cold. He stays home from work 1 day and is peachy keen. In the meantime, his disgusting little cold germs decide they like my lungs and sinuses better and take up (seemingly permanent) residence in my nose and chest. Best. Christmas. Present. Ever. Or, maybe not.
Why is it that when he gets sick (doesn't matter with what), it is the most mild form of sickness ever, but when I get sick it's like every germ in the country found it's way to me?
There is no justice in this world. None, I tell you.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Dear Arizona Drivers,

That stuff falling from the sky is RAIN. It is NOT the apocalypse. The sky is NOT falling down. I promise. There is no need to slow down to 15 mph on the freeway. Please, trust me. You can still drive the speed limit. Or close to it. I'd settle for 50mph, but 15mph is an invitation for me to get out of my car and beat you a little bit with sticks. I am pretty sure I could catch you if I walk at a brisk pace.

On a related note: to the driver of the black Audi who thought he was 'too cool' to follow the flow of traffic. You got what you deserved. I wanted to go faster too, but I am not stupid enough to think that wanting to go fast was the same as having the power to part the traffic like Moses parted the Red Sea. If you think that you can drive 90 mph whilst weaving in and out of traffic, you deserve to spin out and hit the median when you are forced to slam on your brakes because every lane of traffic comes to a complete stop (please see memo above). I laughed at you a little bit. What an idiot.


Thursday, December 11, 2008

Wanted: Personal Shopper

Anyone who knows me at all knows that clothes shopping+Erin=disaster of epic proportions. I really,really dislike shopping for clothes. Several of you, dear readers, have probably been shopping with me and have discovered that I turn into Ogre Erin when I am forced to shop for clothes. So, I just don't do it. Which means I rely on others to shop for me. I'll wear pretty much anything that fits, so gifts of clothes have basically made up my wardrobe for years. Tragically, clothes wear out, and so, occassionally, I am forced to suck it up and shop. When this dreaded event happens, it follows a very clear pattern:
1. Enter store
2. Search out a display of solid color, button down shirts
3. Select 2 or 3 in the appropriate size, but different colors
4. Purchase

If I need something other than a shirt, I am basically paralyzed. Really. Example: I have 2 pairs of pants, one was a gift from my mother and one I've had for 5 years. I don't know what I'll do if one is ruined. I've tried to buy more pants, but about 5 minutes into the experience I give up. I don't even know where to start.

So, you can see why I have been in the market for a professional shopper for most of my adult life. Tragically, I have found that personal shoppers are EXPENSIVE and I don't have any money. So, the personal shopper dream had to go on the shelf, along with being a size 6 and 5'11'. Until today. Today the dream came true.

As, I have mentioned before, I work with the nicest people in the world. Funny and nice. One, the same one who thought I was a polygamist, noticed my 'uniform' of solid shirt and jeans the other day. Being something of a fashionista, she just couldn't understand my aversion to shopping. She is convinced that she can teach me how to shop and, this is the kicker, ACTUALLY ENJOY IT. She is going to take me shopping; my warnings about Ogre Erin have not swayed her. Not even in the slightest. Here are the rules for our shopping expedition, as set by Co-worker/Personal Shopper:

1. I have to actually try stuff on.
2. I am not allowed to complain.
3. I must believe Co-worker/Personal Shopper friend when she says something looks good.
4 I am not allowed to complain.
5. I must buy 1 outfit.

I tried to convince her to just go to the store and buy the clothes; I'd pay her for them and a give her cookies for her time. She launched into some, "If you give a man a fish..." shpeal.

And, so, I am about to get my very own What Not to Wear experience. I hope we can still be friends afterward...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Dear Little Burger King Man,

So, work today was pretty much crap-tacular . Like, seriously. I am sure you, Little Burger King Man, don't care for the details, so I won't share. But, just know it wasn't a great day. As I pulled into the little drive-through of your kind of ghetto Burger King,(which I normally wouldn't do, but I couldn't even think, for even one second, about actually making something to eat), I was super grumpy. I think I may have, oh, how to put this...taken my grumpiness out on you a wee bit. Or, a lot bit. But you, Little Burger King Man, would not be dragged down to my level. Oh no. You were so polite. So nice. I don't think I've heard a more sincere, "Thank you, and have a nice evening" ever. Not in my whole life. And certainly not from the poor little cashier at a fast food place. And so, Little Burger King Man, I salute you. You brightened an otherwise dismal Tuesday.


P.S. Isn't the new layout for the blog ridiculously cute? Seriously.
P.P.S If I ever find the cord for the camera, I'll post pictures from our weekend with Isaac's parents. It was fantastic!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

100 Things

Here I am, posting my list of 100 things, as instructed.

This was fun- you're supposed to copy the list to your blog and then bold the things you have done.
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band

4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo

11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Totally copied a post from someone else's blog to your own

Monday, November 24, 2008

Dear Computer...

I hate you. You only work sometimes (I wish I could only work when I felt like it), you randomly decide to eat programs that have been on you for years. Your mouse only sort-of works and your keyboard is too slow. It takes 5 tries (sometimes more) for you to connect to the internet, even though the little light display on my cable modem says you are connected (I think you are taunting me)and sometimes, you decide not to connect at all, no matter how many times I restart you, kick you and curse the heavens. You are a useless, pain in the neck, lump of junk. I hate you.


Thursday, November 20, 2008

Please don't be offended...

I work with extremely amusing people. I spend most of my day avoiding doing any real work (because my work is highly annoying) and instead laugh with my curriculum department co-workers. We are probably the most annoying pople in the office, but I don't care;it gets me through the day.
Some of the more entertaining moments have been as I respond to questions that begin, "Please don't be offended, but do Mormons...." You see, I am the only Latter-day Saint in the entire company (shocking, I know-after all this is ARIZONA!)and apparently word spread pretty quickly. So, now I am a living, breathing Encyclopedia of Mormonism. I am asked something that I find highly amusing("So, Mormons only attend their own schools right? That's what those buildings next to the high schools are? Right?")at least once a day but today was the BEST. The absolute BEST. I am still trying to figure out how I can write this in such a way that the Ensign will publish it, because the WORLD needs to experience this.
Now, do please remember that I live in Arizona. There are Latter-day Saints everywhere around here. So, imagine my surprise when, as I was talking with my fellow Social Studies Curriculum Specialist, she asked, "Please don't be offended but, I was curious...You know the show "Big Love"? Is your life anything like that? I mean, if anyone would know-you would."
It took me about 30 seconds to figure out what she was asking me. First, I couldn't remember what the show 'Big Love" was and second, I couldn't figure out why she thought I would "know". Turns out, "Big Love" is about polygamists. Not the scary, pedophile polygamists you see on the news, but polygamists who live in suburbia and lead, basically, normal lives. And, she figured I'd know, because SHE THOUGHT I WAS ONE. The entire time I have worked with this woman (MONTHS) she has thought I was living as a polygamist and she finally got up the courage to ask about my, assumed, 'alternative lifestyle'. I. about. died. I could not stop laughing. It was terrible; such a 'teaching' moment and I couldn't BREATHE because I was laughing so hard. She was so confused-she kept saying "I'm sorry!" and "What is so funny?!" When I finally got myself under control, I explained that A) I was not a polygamist, niether of the sort one sees on the news nor of the "Big Love" variety and B) No Latter-day Saints were. I explained about the various groups that have very similar names and call themselved "Fundamentalist Mormons" etc...She turned BRIGHT RED. I figured she was going to appologize for asking, but instead, she said "Oh NO! When I taught history and we talked about religions I ALWAYS taught that Mormons were polygamists!" She spent the rest of the day telling people in the office, "Did you know that Mormons AREN'T polygamists? Really! Ask Erin!" I think she was trying to make up for all the students she had inadvertently misled...
This is my life. Never a dull moment.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

In Which Erin's Faith In Humanity is Restored

As a teacher, I have long been dismayed by the rudeness of today's youth. For reasons I do not understand, kids are just rude! They are rude to each other, they are rude to their parents and teachers, they are even rude to complete strangers. I don't understand. I know many children who are not rude or disrespectful;but I have observed that many more little people than can possibly be healthy for society are rude. So, I have had much fear for the future of humanity. If kids are growing up in a world that permits that kind of rudeness, what is the world going to be like when they are in charge!? Shudder. BUT, this week, my faith in the future of the human race was (at least temporarily) restored. One tiny person, with very large ears, outside an Arizona convenience store, restored hope for the future.
I was at the convenience store purchasing a very large, caffeinated drink-it's how I survive my job. As I got my very large, caffeinated drink, I noticed a very small boy, with very large ears, following his mother around the store. He touched nothing. He did not demand candy. He did not throw a fit of any kind (in contrast to the several other children also in the store). He did remind his mother that school started at 8:00. Too cute. Anyway, I got my drink. I paid for my drink and I found myself following this boy and his mother out the door. Unfortunately, the door was of the swinging variety and the very small boy did not hold it open and it swung back and nearly decapitated me. I heard small boy's mother say "Honey, you need to make sure you hold the door for people!" (Points to mom!) As I came out the door and walked to my car, small boy with large ears came running over and said:
"I'm thorry! My mom thaid I thould have held the door!" (he had a lisp! So. Cute.).As he skipped back to mom, I asked, "Can I keep you?"
Okay, I didn't really say that, but I wanted too. What a sweetheart. It made my day!

8 Things About Me

I have been tagged... So, here goes!

8 TV show I like to watch...

1. Antiques Roadshow
2. This Old House
3. Monk (we get the DVD's from the Library)
4-8. I really don't like TV. Maybe if we had cable...

8 Favorite Restaurants

1. Olive Garden
2. Cheesecake Factory
3. My Big Fat Greek Restaurant ( gyros ever.)
4. Astro Burger
5. Subway
6. Cracker Barrel
7. Out of
8. Ideas

8 Favorite Places to Shop

1. Quilts Etc...
2. Deseret Book/Seagull Book
3. Barnes and Noble
4. Zoe's Quilt Shop
5. Any antique store
6. Joanne's
7. Sam's Club/Costco
8. Target

8 Things That Happened Yesterday

1. Laundry
2. Dishes
3. Vacuumed
4. Sam's Club
5. Worked on the quilt
6. Went for a walk with Isaac (yippee for good weather!)
7. Mopped the floors
8. Watched "Get Smart" (funny!)

8 Things I'm Looking Forward Too...

1. Actually having vacation days
2. Christmas
3. Isaac finishing school
4. Finishing my quilt
5. Trip to Europe (see number 3 and then number 1)
6-8. I am so boring.

8 Things On My Wish List

1. Getting out of debt (only student loans left! Woohoo!)
2. A puppy (or Clancy...hint.hint.)
3. EQ6 (Quilt design software. I am a nerd. I'm okay with that.)
4. Treadmill
5-8. I've got nothing.

So, there you have it. I am really boring. How did I get so boring? Have I always been this boring?

Friday, November 7, 2008

Wait A Minute . . .

I would just like to say that I post stuff that is meant to spark conversion and insight into peoples lives and there are no comments. I may not be as grammatically correct has Erin but I try to get my point across. Erin posts about her lack of self image and the whole world comes out of the wood work and posts comments. What is up with that?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Exercise? Who needs Exercise?

Today, I did something I swore I would never do. Of course, I only swore I wouldn't do it because I knew I would be unhappy when I did and why would I want to torture myself? I, as a general rule, try to avoid activites I know will make me unhappy. And, generally speaking, it's a good rule. So, why did I cave this time? I don't know. Why did I ignore the voice in my head that said "Erin, you really don't want to do this"? I don't know. All I know is that I never, ever should have given in to the impulse. I never, ever should have stepped on that scale.
I'll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking craziness, that's what. I was thinking, "It's okay that you work at a job that requires you to sit on your rear end all day, immobile. It's okay that you live in HADES and, therefore, do not go outside to do anything even remotely active. It's okay that the 'gym' at your apartment complex is usually inhabited by very scary, large men who "socialize" by grunting numbers at one another as they lift impossibly heavy objects. It's okay that, because you are home by yourself all the time, you eat constantly. It's okay that your clothes all make you look like a sausage. It can't possibly be that bad." And, I, like an idiot, actually gave in to my crazy self-talk and got on the scale. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't bad. It was worse than bad. It was, "I might actually weigh more than a baby cow" bad.
Now, I don't know which is worse: Knowing the awful truth, or knowing that I probably won't do a darn thing about it.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Why There Is No Hope For the "Bailout" Package

My explanation for the failure of the "bailout" law/package is simple, welfare doesn't work. Have we not realized that just giving money to irresponsible people hasn't and won't work. Just look at the bailout/welfare program that the government refuse to change. We have been giving money to people with basically no strings attached for years and not helping them to make better life choices so that they don't need welfare money anymore for their paycheck. Welfare recipients are now dependent on that money. There is no incentive for them to actually go out and get a job or to stop having kids so that they can get more money each month. The same thing is now happening with the various financial institutions throughout the country. They are all now making claims for why they deserve the free money. There are no restrictions on the money that is being handed out. There is no incentive or reason for these companies to change there ways and do what needs to be done to get themselves out of the hole they put themselves into. AIG is having another retreat here in Arizona for there people. The resort is saying that the room bill will be something like $200,000 or more. I am sorry but this is the 21st century use a new invention called a telephone or even a little fancier, video conferencing, to "train" your employees to lose more money. Just look at GM they were bailed out once and now they want to be bailed out again. They haven't changed their business practice at all to make sure they don't need any assistance, they have become reliant on the government to come in every time they are stupid and give them money. Instead of being like Toyota and making cars that are good and what people want they just sat back and relied on old people to buy the newest model of what they have been driving for years.
On a similar venting topic, why spreading the wealth is also a bad idea. Don't get me wrong I think everyone should have the basics of life but not if it means I have to work harder so that others don't. My favorite bumper sticker that I saw in Kansas was "Work harder, welfare people depend on it". We need to start changing our mentality from handout society to one that has a proven track record of success, helping hand. Think of it this way if we are spreading the wealth and just giving away services then the law of gravity takes affect and people can climb out of there current problems. Instead if we gave people a hand by educating and training them to be self sustaining then we can bring them up out of their situation instead of them dragging the ones that have had success down. We are always talking now about building more sustainable buildings, well not help make people more sustainable as well. Lifting people up the ladder to were you are is safer than climbing down.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Questions I Would Liked Answered

For a long time I have had a list of questions I have wanted to ask, so to speed up the process of getting answers to these questions, I thought I would have the world take a shot at answering them.
My first question that is Why do we need hate crime task forces, hate crime laws, or other such things? Has anyone had a crime committed against them by someone who actually liked them. By definition, isnt' all crime a 'hate' crime? Isn't it a little unjust to say some crimes are worse than others? I could be crazy, but to me the phrase hate crime is more of a political catch phrase than anything. Politicians push these type of initiatives to make it look like they are doing something really important for the people when in reality it is redundant work.
This is my first of many questions that I would like answered. More to come in the coming days and weeks.

Monday, October 27, 2008


Fear not-nothing salacious or gossip worthy is found in this post. I just feel led to confess...I HATE television. That's right. HATE it. Which, I realize, is very strong language, but I can't think of any other word to describe how I feel about it.
I haven't always been a television hater. Growing up, I watched what my family watched (usually reading a book at the same time), and I know I enjoyed many of the shows we watched. And,as an adult (and therefore in control of the remote) there have been a few shows I have enjoyed for a time, but, inevitably, each and every one of them became increasingly idiotic the longer it was on TV (I have decided that stupidity is directly proportional to years on the air). And now, I can't stand virtually everything on television. I will admit-I make an exception for PBS because, as many of you know, I very much like Antiques Roadshow. But, that is pretty much it. Really. I could never again turn on the television and still be perfectly happy. In fact, if I have to watch one more inane commercial, one more formulaic "cop" drama or one more disgusting "comedy", I just might go postal and I have only one guarantee: the television will not survive the carnage.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Why Is the American Media So Dumb?

I am grateful that I have classes at night so that I don't have to listen or watch the news or the pointless debates. Don't get me wrong; the political process is important, but here is my point: I am tired of hearing about what either candidate for president will "do" and how they each will magically solve the "economic crisis". Last I checked neither of them, regardless of who wins the election, can make any laws. I believe it was in fourth grade that I learned that there are three branches of government and the president belongs to the one that carries out or executes the laws that Congress legislates. I am sorry people, but neither of the candidates can actually do anything they say they will do. Congress decides what the tax laws are; they decide how much banks can be regulated, and so forth. And, we have all seen how well that has worked out. Thank you, Nancy Pelosi for doing all the great things you promised to do with the Democratic Congress. In reality, last I checked, she has done nothing but investigate baseball steroids. So, I have decided, I will vote for the first person who says, "If Congress passes such and such type legislation this is why I would or would not sign the bill." That would be an intelligent candidate and I wouldn't care what party they belong to because they would be smarter than anyone we have running now.
And, to place blame where it is due; the media are supposed to report on this stuff and, unfortunately, they are the ones "educating" people and doing a very poor job at it. The news can report about each candidate's economic packages all they want but the president doesn't decide that stuff Congress does! And, well, we all know how well Congress works; they've even created loop holes in the "bail out" package to CEO's for being greedy! Congress has allowed CEO's to run their companies and banks into the ground and come out with multiple millions of dollars. Why doesn't anyone report that?

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

If I....

lived in Alaska, or was independently wealthy and therefore had the means to travel at will, I would be in Palmer (Alaska, of course!) tonight. Why? Because tonight is the first ever, (and probably last) Palmer Potato Pageant! That's right. A pageant for potatoes! But, not just any potato can be in this pageant. No, this pageant's for the ugliest potatos you can find! Your average, round, grocery store potato need not apply!

Apparently, 2008 is 'The Year of the Potato' (I wish I knew who decides things like that-I have a couple of suggestions, like "The Year of Giving Erin $1,000,000" or "The Year of Traveling for Free!") and Bill Campbell (an agronomist in Palmer) is celebrating by organizing the Palmer Potato Pageant. I wish I had a really ugly potato and the means to enter it in this pageant, because I really feel that this is one pageant I would really rock.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

What Credit Crisis?

I don't know why everyone thinks there is a credit crisis and the economy is in trouble. You might think I have been in a cave without my wireless internet but I haven't. Citi Bank thinks that we are worthy enough for a $50,000 credit limit. Maybe I am crazy, but if the banks don't have any money why are they wanting to give me $50,000 dollars? So, while everyone is crying and complaining this weekend about how the economy is in ruin, I just might help it out and buy myself a new car with my $50,000 credit limit from Citi Bank. Oh, and did I mention USAA will give us $50,000 as well. They will even deliver the car to us I don't even have to leave my house to buy a car. I think maybe this is why the banks are failing. They are willing to give money to people and not worry about us being able to pay it back.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Thank You to All the Greedy People

I would like to just give a shout out and say thank you to all the wonderful, kind hearted and GREEDY people out there. Why, you ask? For one thing they have helped to bring down the cost of homes so that the prices reflect their actual value, instead of the inflated prices everyone bought them for. I might take that job I always wanted in California, although, probably not. I would just like to ask, who thinks to themselves, "Well, I don't need the bigger house that the real estate person says I should get and, well, that does sound expensive but, what the heck! I will buy the $400,000 house anyway."?! Those are the people who got us into this mess!
I get, at least once a month, a note from banks saying they will give me a credit card with a $20,000 credit limit. But hello,people, that DOESN'T mean I should go out and buy $20,000 worth of stuff on credit, that I won't be able to pay back. In this economic crisis, we shouldn't be blaming the banks we need to be blaming our own greed. We are supposed to be adults! The old saying "My brother made me do it!" doesn't work. Yes, the banks were dumb to loan money they didn't have while thinking that the more they lent out the more they would get back. But, still! Just because the salesman/banker says "Go ahead and get the bigger house, boat, or car!" doesn't mean you should. It is time to be adults and make your own choices.
Also, why is it always the government's fault when things go bad? I thought in America we had the freedom of choice in regards to what we do with our money and how we spend it. Maybe I just missed that day in civics class. And, if people REALLY want to go with the "lets pass the buck" mentality, and blame the government, they should realize that the Democrats have been in charge for the past two years! Isn't that when everything started going south? They were the ones in charge of all these committees and oversight hearings. What have they been doing?! Oh, that's right! They've been too busy having Congressional hearings over steroid use in baseball to spend time addressing the economic concerns they claim they have had for years!

Monday, September 29, 2008

I Guess That Makes Me the Campaign Manager

Since Erin, I mean Madam Future President Montague, has turned this into a political, I mean venting, blog for at least the next month or so, I thought I would "throw my hat in the ring". My thought for today is: Why should the federal government step in and help out Michigan and the American auto industry? They shouldn't. Why, you ask? Because it was there own #$% fault for not being like the foreign car companies and realizing that people don't want gas guzzling, poorly built, expensive cars. Hello FORD you have relied on your F-150 for too long and waited too long to change with the times. Not to mention the Focus, or, as I called it on my mission, the "weekly recall". I guess the car companies were just following our lead and letting someone else do their work for them.
There is a presidential candidate out there who is getting votes by appealing to out-of-work former factory workers, saying that the government will bring their jobs back to them! I am no economist, but aren't the companies' to blame for not running their business competitively to keep up with the competition? The government stepping in isn't going to solve a problem of bad management.
Also, News flash! A lot of the foreign car companies have plants in the US, so you can't use the outsourcing bit on this one. Also, as Erin can point out to you in more detail, we have moved on from a factory based economy. Factories are so 1800's! It is time for "Change". Not the same old jobs but higher paying ones!
This is my venting and I am sticking to it.

Friday, September 19, 2008

That Time of Year Again

Hey everyone who wants to go to the balloon fiesta in Albuquerque. It is more than a festival it is a fiesta. I know it is short notice but what the "heck". It is Oct. 4 and 5. No one has church meetings because it is conference weekend. Some of us out there haven't been to it in a long time but still remember good old Mr. Peanut balloon. They have updated the balloons from 20 years ago. Also, some of you may remember getting up nice and early for the morning events and also the always fun "After Glow" in the evening. All, I ask is that no one get lost this time if you come. Let me know via email. (Notice the Energizer Bunny being blown up behind Darthvader)

Thursday, September 11, 2008


Today it was only 97 degrees. That's right. The temperature did not break 100. Wonder of Wonders, Miracle of Miracles.

In other news...I made granola. Be impressed. I used to really like the Costco granola. Crunchy, fruity goodness. Tragically, they had to go and CHANGE the granola. The yummy dried cherries were replaced with...dried blueberries. YUCK. And, rather than keeping the yummy,crunchy sunflower seeds, they added....pumpkin seeds. Double YUCK. And to top it off, we decided not to renew our Costco membership (the lack of good granola was a significant deciding factor). So, I have been granola-less for many moons now. BUT-it occured to me that granola is simply oats mixed with some honey, butter, nuts and fruity goodness. I can do that. So I did. It was a little crumblier than I was hoping (note to self: more honey, less butter) but it tastes yummy. And, I only put in things I like. So there, Costco. Who needs your yucky old granola anyway!

In other, other news...I have decided to run for president. That's right. Erin for President 2020! There are many reasons for this, but mostly I have decided that the only way to be sure something is done right is to do it yourself, so that's exactly what I am going to do. So, VOTE ERIN! The campaign fund is also currently accepting donations. Please contact the ERIN FOR PRESIDENT committee for details. Between now and then I plan to become a "community organizer "(note to self: find out what that means), mayor of an insignificant small town in rural Nebraska (bonus points because Nebraska has never had a presidental candidate), a Senator (but, no worries, I will be certain to make sure I spend more than 2/3rds of my time as the people's representative campaigning for President-have to be sure to use my taxpayer financed $250,000 salary to NOT do my job), in my role as Senator I will also propose the most useless and ill advised immigration reform legislation in the history of mankind (this, apparently, means I am 'for change') and I will loudly and passionately decry the qualifications of my opponents, only to (OF COURSE!) turn around and say wonderful, glowing things about those opponents when it becomes politically expedient and I need to find a VP. Don't forget: VOTE ERIN 2020!

Monday, September 1, 2008

The Grand Canyon

Well all, we have returned from our Grand adventure! It did not go as planned, but it was super fun. Here are a few pictrs. We took 400. I won't subject you to all of them! Just the highlights. :-)

This is Isaac at the Grand Canyon Train Station. We were walking the South rim when a deluge let loose. We took refuge under the station patio-Isaac must have been thirsty or something! Look at the size of the raindrops!We were above the clouds! Watching the clouds move up and down the canyon walls was very cool.
There are a bunch of historic buildings right on the South rim. This is one of them, during a pause in the rain.
Isaac-when it FINALLY decided to stop raining!

Us! Yippee for self-timing cameras!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Finally, Pictures

So, we are finally posting some pictures. And by we, I mean ME! I am amazing and, despite a nearly paralyzing fear of breaking the camera, figured out how to do this whole "pictures on the blog" thing. Go me.
This is the bestest cutting board in the universe. It has been blogged about previously. $20. Costco. Get one. Love it.
Our happy pillows. On our nifty IKEA couch. The pillows were a wedding present. The couch was a tax refund present.
The view from our balcony. Yes, that is grass. Unfortunately,it's some mutant, rock hard, sharp as glass grass that one cannot really enjoy like real grass. But it's nice to look at!
You can't see it, but that's a map on the computer. He spends ALL DAY looking at and working with maps. What does he do when he gets home? Looks at maps. :-) Look how happy maps make him. What a nerd. :-)

There are about 100 million more pictures, but uploading them takes forever and I am tired of waiting around for the computer. More later.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Good News from the Montagues!

This week's good news:
1. Erin did not kill her co-worker and will, therefore, not be going to jail anytime soon!
2. The camera finally came! We have many pictures. Isaac is in charge of putting them on the blog, because the camera kind of scares me.
3. ISAAC GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's working for the Greater Phoenix Economic Council. It's a GIS internship! This will be perfect for while he is in school. The hours will mean he has plenty of time to work on his school work. :-) He starts on Monday. :-) This job will probably count as his internship/final project which means he may be able to finish his master's a little earlier than we originally thought!
4. I found a good quilt shop here! (Thanks Alisa!)
5. We found out that Isaac and I can use the ASU gym and pool almost for free (Isaac is free actually, I have to pay a fee per semester). I am excited. :-)
6. I found a speedo swimsuit (for use in the ASU pool) at Cabela's for $6.00. I am such a bargain shopper! :-)
7. I hope everyone is sitting down for this one...

I went to HFPE meeting on Tuesday. Voluntarily. By myself. I crocheted burp cloths with a friend in the ward (Again, thanks Alisa! It was fun!)

There's more, but I think you get the general idea! :-) I wish Happy Weeks to all of you!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Big, Dumb, Camera People

The camera people just shipped our camera TODAY! We ordered it LAST WEEK!!!!!!!! I am so annoyed. We had the most AMAZING lightning storm last night and COULD I TAKE PICTURES? NO! Why? BECAUSE THE BIG DUMB CAMERA PEOPLE didn't send the camera. Isaac says I shouldn't be annoyed because we just ordered it on Friday and people don't work on the weekends. YADA YADA YADA. I want that camera. :-( This is the problem with ordering things online. I am at the mercy of distant merchants and the US Postal Service. Deep sigh. Oh well. The wait continues. ON and ON and ON.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

New Toy

Well, we have finally given in. After 2 years of having a camera that only sort-of worked, and after MONTHS of Isaac meticulously researching digital cameras online, and after MONTHS of saving, we have BOUGHT A NEW CAMERA! We bought a Canon EOS XSI in a kit with a few lenses and filters.
Now, as I mentioned before, Isaac has spent MONTHS researching these things, so he actually knows what the lenses and filters do. I am more of a push-the-button-and-hope-for-the-best kind of photographer, but he is super excited to try the different lenses and such. And so, to those who have been patiently waiting (or not so patiently waiting-MOM! :-) ), soon, there will be pictures on the blog. It should be here next week. Expect much more visual posts soon! :-)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The New Job

Actual conversation with Erin's Co-Worker/Trainer at the New Job:

Erin: Something is very wrong here. These files don't match up.
Coworker: No, I know it seems weird, but that's how we do things.
Erin: Okay
...2 somewhat frustrating HOURS later...
Coworker: OH! You're right! That's the wrong file! I must have given you the wrong one! How'd that happen?! No wonder it wasn't working earlier!

I had to leave. That's right. I left. I had to. I was going to explode. I felt better after eating McNuggets. McNuggets can fix anything.

Quick Observation

As a geographer and someone who has a "Y" chromosome, I have a bit more spatial and overall observation skills than usual. If you don't believe me, read some of the studies on spatial observation-apparently men and geographers are especially gifted in this area. Before I get to far, I should explain why I was thinking about this.
Erin got a new toy this past week; a wireless router. Now, she can sit on the couch and "do stuff for work". This is the female code phrase for look at blogs (my previous post will help new readers to begin to understand my philosophy on the blog). Anyway, as Erin was "working" I was pondering on the blogging world again-mostly because Wipe Out was over and there was nothing else on.
This is what I observed: People have set-up millions of blogs so their loved ones and friends can easily see what is going on in their lives. My interesting observation was that many people write a blog entry, then people call the people who read the blog to find out if their friends and family saw what was on the blog. Question: Why do you have the blog if you are just going to call people to see if they saw what was on the blog? This seems counter intuitive to me. So there.
Well, don't forget to tell all your friends about this blog. The more the merrier. Yes, I am begging for more visitors.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Why Is Blogging So Fun

I have watched Erin type away every night and looking at other "blogs" like people standing in line reading the magazine covers hoping that the worlds largest cat is really real. Not being much of a fan of reading or typing I can't understand the point of blogging. Then has I have hacked my way into this blog thing I have read for the first time what I have been up to for the past few months. It is interesting to read about your life through someone else's eyes. Recently I have heard that people get paid to do this. So, since I do have a few energy efficient light bulbs in my head I thought not a bad idea. Now that you have read this thing I would request that you send me a "donation" for my thoughts that is if you want to hear more. By the way I still don't get the fascination with blogging. For people like me it physically hurts to type and I would rather talk than type.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

In-N-Out is OUT

So. Isaac and I are working really hard to not eat out as much. We are big eaters out. Well, let me re-phrase. I am a big eater of resturant food. Isaac just likes food. Anyway, we've been trying not to eat out as much and have been doing really well so we celebrated by... eating out. I know. I know. But nobody is perfect. The road to recovery is full of potholes. At least we have admitted we have a problem. :-)
Anyway-we went out to eat at In-N-Out Burger. Isaac had never been and I went once a really long time ago (remember Maren, Krystal and Morgan? The drive thru in LA? In Maren's parents car?) ANYWAY. I didn't remember if I liked it or not, but I told Isaac it was super popular, so it must be good. So we went. IT WASN'T. That's right. IN-N-OUT Burger STINKS. Well, at least it stinks here. Maybe it's because it is out of its normal habitat. I don't know, but it was NOT GOOD. I was super depressed. Our rare, and getting rarer, eating out event and it wasn't even good. TRAGIC. From now on, when we go out, we are going places I know I like. Then our eating out experience won't be wasted on chalky french fries and rubbery hamburgers.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The New Job

Well, the new job started today. It was ... interesting.
I spent most of the day working through an online training class (very appropriate for a provider of online curriculum). When I wasn't working on the training class, I was doing exactly the same work I did when I was a contract employee for the company. Super fun. Sort of. Not really. I hope that I, at some point, get to do something a little more substantial. We'll see.
On the upside, the people at my job are super nice. It was nice to meet everyone (it's a pretty small office) and the other social studies curriculum specialist even took me to lunch. Over all it was a good day. :-)

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Camera Drama

So, I found the camera. I got the camera ready to take pictures of my new quilt top and our apartment. The batteries were dead. Sigh.
In other news, we met our next door neighbors, who are in our ward (at least they are until July when they move). Their last name is Shakespeare. I am not even making that up. Shakespeare. We should take a picture with them, but our camera is dead.
Photos are still on the "to do" list. Batteries are on the shopping list.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

A Tribute...

A Tribute to My Cutting Board:
I have the greatest cutting board in the history of all cutting boards. It has a sturdy, bamboo base (apparently, naturally anti-bacteria and renewable!). It has 7, yes that's right, 7 interchangeable, flexible plastic cutting surfaces. The cutting surfaces fit snugly into the top of the bamboo base. Each is a different color and labled with a particular food that may need cutting (bread, cheese, meat, etc...). I never have to worry about onion flavored bread, because my onions NEVER touch the bread cutting board! HAHAHAHAHA. My tomatoes won't get salmonella on any of my other foods because they have their VERY OWN cutting surface, which is conveniently dishwasher safe! (Unlike the bamboo base).
Finally, the greatest feature of all-all seven cutting surfaces store conveniently IN THE BASE! I simply pull out the one I need! It is a beautiful, perfect system. I can even buy replacement cutting surfaces.
That's right. My cutting board is WAY cooler than yours.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Hello All!
So, a while back, I was 'invited' to apply to be on the National Advisory Committee for the World History Praxis (this is a national test for teachers-they can take it to be 'highly qualified' in an area they want to teach). Well, I heard from the Praxis people recently and I have been accepted! This means I will go to New Jersey in July and again in November to work with the committee! Yippee!!!!!
In other news-well, non-news, we haven't heard anything about a job yet, so we'll keep everyone posted. :-)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Sunny Arizona

Hello from sunny Arizona! And by sunny I mean, of course, blazing hot! We are officially Arizona residents now! (We even have the driver's licenses to prove it!). It is nice to be getting settled and moving forward.
In the last 2 days, I've had 3 job interviews and a call about a 4th! This is very good news, but also more than just a little busy and stressful. Any one of these jobs would be great-I am looking forward to hearing from people starting next week. Hopefully at least 1 will come through. :-)
Isaac and I are speaking in church on Sunday. What an introduction to the ward! This is a little unfortunate for me-I haven't spoken in church for 7 years! That's quite a stretch and one I was not overly eager to end. But, on Sunday, Isaac and I will be speaking all about fathers and so the "no talks in church" marathon will come to an end! I guess it's a good way to introduce Isaac and I. Although, he's been in the ward for a couple of months now so they all know him. :-)
In totally unrelated news-look at Morgan's blog for some fairly scary pictures of the aftermath of the tornado that went through her little city in Kansas. She and the family are just fine, but those pictures sure remind me of all the things I don't miss about living in tornado country!
Sometime in the relatively near future, I hope to finally post a few pictures of the apartment. As soon as the boxes are all off the floor! :-)

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Scheduling Nightmares

This weekend I got a phone call about a job I applied for in Phoenix (yippee!). Tragically, the interview must be 'in person' and it must be THIS WEEK. She wanted to do the interview Wednesday at 8 am. This, as you can imagine is a small problem because A-I will be teaching Debate Wednesday at 8 am and B-I am in UTAH. We discussed this problem at length, trying to find a solution. 20 minutes on the phone with the very nice woman arranging the interview and I am officially being interviewed on Friday at 5. This means that I will come to school on Friday, teach for 1/2 a day, leave for the airport at 1pm. Fly out to Phoenix at 3 pm our time, arrive in Phoenix at 3:45 Arizona time. Interview at 5 pm. Spend Saturday with Isaac (Yippee!).

This then creates another smallish problem. I am supposed to be flying to DENVER on SUNDAY from SALT LAKE. So, another 20 minute phone call with the travel agency arranging the flights for the AP Reading. Flight changed from SLC to Phoenix, leaving at 8 in the morning Sunday. Arrive in Denver at 11:30. Wait for the shuttle an indeterminate amount of time. Take shuttle 1.5 hours to Fort Collins and Colorado State University. Arrive at CSU. Check in for AP Reading. Spend the week reading essays. Fly to SLC on the following Monday, June 9th. Doctor's appointment on June 10th. Fly to Phoenix on June 11th. Sigh.

Notice that no where in this schedule have I mentioned my 3.5 hour ESL class on Tuesday AND Thursday, nor have I included time to do my assignments for said ESL class, pack up my classroom, pack clothes to last for 10 days, find a couple books to read whilst in Denver and NOT reading essays, finalize my grades, turn in all my equipment or check out in the main office with the lovely secretaries/Vice Principals. All before Friday at 1pm.

Friday, May 23, 2008

The Countdowns....

I am counting down to many things. First, the end of school. I have 4 days (not counting today) left at Jordan. 2 class days and 2 grant days. :-) Technically, there are 2 weeks of school left, but because of my third countdown, I only have four days. HAHAHAHAHA. I laugh at everyone who has to stay for the last week! :-)

Second, the end of the ESL class from HECK. I have only 2 more classes. Technically, I should only have 1 more class and then questions to answer 'online', but, for reasons I will never understand, we are having an "in-person" class next Thursday. We are doing show and tell. I am not making this up. We are supposed to bring something that represents ourselves as a 'teacher and as a learner' and then we will all 'share'. Why, you ask? I don't know. But, we have to be there because show and tell is now worth 100 points. LAME. I am bringing Diet Coke. I am also not making that up. I am going to say, "Diet Coke, or more specifically the caffeine in Diet Coke, got me through graduate school so that I can teach...ergo-Me as a learner and as a teacher!" Do you think I'll get all 100 points?

Anyway, on to number 3: the AP reading. I fly out 1 week from Sunday. All week long I have been getting friendly little emails from the AP people. "Don't forget your social security card for the I-9!" "Bring a sweater! The reading room is quite chilly!" "Would you like to come on a tour of Rocky Mountain State Park?" and so on and so on. It should be quite interesting. 9 days!

And finally, the countdown to the official and permanent move to Arizona! This is a little longer, but nevertheless, I am still counting down. There are 18 days. Woohoo! Just a little more than 2 weeks! I have a couple of job interviews in the next few days, so hopefully by the time I get down there I will be gainfully employed! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I have found someplace hotter than Hades.

Have you ever heard someone (most likely someone in my family) say "It's hotter than Hades!"? I have. In fact, I spent my whole life hearing people say that. However, I have always wondered if that was even possible. Can a place be hotter than Hades (which is really just a 'nice' way of saying hell)? I wasn't sure. Until this weekend. I spent this weekend with Isaac (yippee!), moving into our apartment (woohoo!) and now I know that yes, indeed there is a place hotter than Hades. It is called... Arizona.

Arizona is exceptionally hot. Not just a little hot, but "I think I might die of dehydration" hot. Luckily, we learned that I, apparently, need to drink something pretty much 24/7 and so I am not dead right now. But without that, I would be dead. Very, Very dead. Especially after the moving part. Unfortunately, I am the most useless moving helper on the planet. I'd carry one box up the 3 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS to our apartment and then I'd have to rest for 20 minutes until the urge to A)pass out or B) throw up, went away. Good thing Donny, from apartment 2018, happened by and graciously helped us, or we'd still be there unloading that truck. And by 'we' I mean Isaac, because I'd be dead. Isaac appeared unfazed by the heat. He was a moving machine.

Our new little apartment in Arizona is lovely. Isaac did a very good job picking it out! I actually really like being on the third floor-it seems to be quieter and we overlook the little courtyard instead of the parking lot, so walking up miles and miles worth of stairs was worth it. Mostly.

We had no furniture, so we used the money the government kindly gave us (without interest for all the time they were using it-but whatever) to buy cute new Ikea furniture (entertainment center, couch, chair, lamps, end tables, ottoman...Ikea is my friend) and a dining room table (not from Ikea). At some point, I'll have to post pictures but not right now. When I left, there were still boxes of books on the floor because we ran out of bookshelves and I am pretty sure noone wants to see pictures of my boxes of books. But soon.

Now I just need to finish my teaching job here in Utah and find another job in Arizona and then I will move permanently. Yesterday, I told my principal I was leaving for Arizona and he wasn't a happy camper. I was flattered, but it is time to move on! Anyone know of any teaching jobs in Arizona? :-)

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Blogging Slacker

I am a blogging slacker. I have many updates. They will have to wait, because I just realized I left my flashdrive at home and I can do no work at school without it. Sigh. I have to go get it now.

Thursday, April 17, 2008


Today is Thursday. I say this like you don't know that it is Thursday. The fact that I am sure you know it is Thursday is irrelevant. I just typed that and realized that it sounded like I was talking to a class full of kindergarteners. "Okay, class, today is....THURSDAY!" At which declaration the little ones will cheer and clap. I do no cheer and clap on Thursday. I should, being that it is so very close to Friday, but I don't. I actually have never been much of a cheering or clapping kind of person. I find clapping to be rather abrupt. Arghh... I have gotten entirely sidetracked. The point of starting with the fact that it is now Thursday was to point out that this week is offically five days old and I have not done a single productive thing in any of those five days. I have taken absurdly long naps in the middle of the afternoon, but have accomplished very little. I have stabbed my poor pointer finger on my left hand while trying to rip out a seam in a quilt block, gotten frustrated and have not returned to aforementioned quilt block since Monday. I have (as is now apparent) typed long, rather rambling blog posts. But, have I graded any of the 15 stacks of paper now sitting on my counter? No. Have I entered any of the receipts from our trip to Phoenix into our budget software like I was supposed to do a week ago? No. (This is one of a growing list of tasks, normally done by Isaac, that make me miss him terribly and so I have put off indefinitely.) Have I called the vet to make an appointment for Clancy to get his rabies shot so I can call the dog groomer and make an appointment for him to have a bath? No. I have done nothing. And the biggest problem of all with the 'doing nothing' is that I really don't care. Not enough to do something, at least. I have rather enjoyed being uncharacteristically unproductive. Perhaps I will embrace total laziness as a new 'alternative' lifestyle.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I am a Loser!

So, earlier I posted about my participation in my school's "Biggest Loser Faculty Challenge." I, after doing nothing for the first 2 weeks, finally got into the whole thing and actually lost 10 pounds. Which, ta da!, was good enough for second place! That's right folks, when push comes to shove (and there is a significant monetary incentive) I can choose not to eat french fries! :-) I am now $100 dollars richer and 10 lbs. lighter. Go me. I may have to beat up our ceramics teacher who lost like 18 pounds, but I think I'll wait until he's not looking and then beat him with sticks. He's still way bigger than me! I am glad that the weather is beginning to cooperate so that I can be outside more-I think this will help the on-going efforts to get back in shape.
In totally unrelated news, Isaac started flying again yesterday and, despite the fact that flying planes is way, way, way different than flying helicopters, had a good time. He didn't get to fly for long, but after next week will be flying for a couple of hours everyday. SO FUN!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Flight School

Before we left for Arizona last week I was very, very worried. Based on our less than stellar experience in New Mexico I was emotionally preparing myself for the worst; a vast desert wasteland, scorched dry by 100 or more degree heat. No green plants to be seen anywhere. Everything covered in a light dusting of grey/brown dirt. Crumbling adobe buildings. Crazy roommates in a horrible apartment. You get the idea. This actually describes parts of New Mexico (anyone ever been to Shiprock?) so you can imagine my growing terror as we drove farther and farther south. Thankfully, Arizona is not any of these things. Well, at least not the part where Isaac is living. There are trees (even orange trees!) and grass (a must for my mental health-thank heavens for stealing water from the Colorado river!). His apartment is in a very nice complex with a pool and a little pond and walking trails and everything. He does have a couple of special roommates, but nothing's perfect! He is, so far, pleased with the program (how much can you really know after only 1 day?) and is excited to start flying again tomorrow! I am so happy that he's able to finally be doing what he loves!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008


I did not eat the Skittles.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Skittles versus Granola

I like to eat. It is a curse really. I have never been the type of person who "forgets" to eat. I forget where I put my keys. I do not forget to eat. Ever. Because of my love of food, and the restrictions winter puts on my walking and running, I have recently gained 10 pounds. Not good. Normally I am a healthy size 8. I am now a not-so-healthy size 10. In response to this, I joined the "Biggest Loser" club at work and have made much progress. Today, I even brought very healthy dried fruit and nuts granola to eat for my lunch. I actually really like it. Fruity, nutty goodness! What's not to like? Unfortunately, I also found a bag of Skittles in my desk. Now, I have a dilemma. Do I eat the granola? The Skittles? Both? If I eat both it will probably kill my chances this week for the Biggest Loser title! And, I am totally winning! So, I should really not eat the Skittles. Sadly, I really want to eat the Skittles. I have been very good for a very long time. Do you see my dilemma?! Why have Skittles if you can't eat them? I want to know where the Skittles came from. Are they mystery Skittles? Is there a Skittle fairy in the building? Are they sabotage Skittles? Who knew about my love for the Skittle? This is tragic. Really.

Friday, March 28, 2008


I found a very fun link to a typing test on Anna's blog (and Krystal's and Morgan's) and I tried it. I typed 80 words per minute! Who knew? Tragically, I forgot to copy the html code to post my score. I was very proud of myself and wanted to show off! I am all about finding hidden talents. When I got home, (Of course I tried it at work. What else am I supposed to do at lunch?) I tried it again on our desktop (I was trying to show off to Isaac) and only got 69 words per minute. I have decided that the flat keys of the laptop facilitate faster typing. :-) After trying this and looking at my 'ranking', I would like to know who is at the top of the 'ranking list' and how fast does that person type? I was only in the 100,000's for 80 words a minute so that must mean there are people out there typing 100 or more words a minute. Does anyone know anyone who can type that fast? Can you even see their fingers? Do they do nothing but type all day long? Crazy.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

One Week and Counting...

Well, in exactly one week we will be on our way to Arizona. We'll drive down and then I'll fly back on Sunday so I can finish teaching for the year. Isaac is so excited! I think it will be a fantastic experience for him, although I wish that I didn't have to stay here for a few months while he is away! I am looking forward to officially having a job lined up so that I can plan a more permanent move.
In other news, Isaac has almost finished completely digitizing our family history files! My parents have quite a few written and taped personal histories of various ancestors and he has spent the last couple of weeks scanning and converting them to digital files. It is so cool to be able to have all our Books of Rememberence and such in one computer file. My mom even has some tapes of interviews she did with her grandparents and great-grandparents that we now have as digital files on the computer! We've spent quite a lot of time (Isaac more than I) at the downtown Family History Library filling in the gaps in the information we have. I wouldn't quite say it is nearly "done," but we've made a lot of progress.
Also very exciting was our dinner with our friends Krisy and Dan (and her fantastic parents) last night! It was so fun to get together and visit for a little while, since it has been a couple of years since we were all in the same state. It is just not the same keeping in touch only through the phone and email!
In less exciting news, (but in keeping with our tradition of talking about Clancy like he is a person) Clancy had a doctor's appointment today because he developed a really pronounced limp in his front legs last week and we found out that he has early onset osteo-arthritis! Poor thing! It is not good, especially since it is in his front and back legs already. He has some medicine now that the vet says should help quite a bit, but it is really sad to watch him move around when he is obviously in pain. I hope the medicine helps soon.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


I am a grammar Nazi. This, I admit, actually gives me a certain sense of pride (especially since I am an abysmal speller and need something to make me feel good about all those years of English language instruction). I am conscious of the proper use of suppose versus supposed and then versus than. Renegade apostrophes and commas are no match for my red pen. So, imagine my delight and joy upon finding SPOGG. That's right. SPOGG. It stands for Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar. The society is my new friend. I now get email updates, all devoted to good grammar. If you, like me, have an inner stickler, visit You can buy a tee-shirt.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Things I do not understand...

I think that I am a reasonably intelligent person, but occasionally I find myself confronted with things that, no matter how hard I try, I simply do not understand. Today I have encountered many of these unponderables. For example:
I don't understand bumper stickers-they are the equivalent of a tattoo for your car. I saw an "Alan Keyes for President" sticker today and thought 'Now, don't you feel foolish? The man has demonstrated, in the years since running for president, that he is a crazy person. You look like you want a crazy person to be president. This could have been avoided if you had not stuck a permanent reminder of your temporary insanity on your car." Tragic.
I don't understand the apparent inability of teenage drivers (and others) to use their turn signals. Do they think that drivers around them have telepathic powers and can discern the upcoming movements of their car? One of these days, there is going to be a 20 car pile-up in the parking lot of my school and I am sure it will have started because someone failed to use his or her turn signal.
I don't understand why someone would ever, for any reason, purchase a beer can shaped hat. These are for sale at a local store and it is clear, from the number of beer hats on the shelf, that someone, somewhere has bought one. Actually, several someones. Why? Where would you ever wear a beer can shaped hat? What were you thinking?
I don't understand what the girls at my school are thinking when they wear sweatpants with words on the backside. Do you really want people reading your rear-end? Why not just attach a blinking light to your bum? Where was your mother when you left the house this morning?
I do not understand the term "organic food." Is not all food, by definition, organic? If it wasn't organic, it wouldn't be edible. Right? So, isn't the term redundant? Not only that, but it just sounds silly. Everytime I hear someone talk about 'organic' food I want to interupt and say "As opposed to what? Plastic food?!"
I do not understand the abuse of the word "like." I counted 24 'likes' during one conversation with a student today. Can they not hear themselves? Do they not know that they do not make any sense? I feel bad for "like." Such abuse.

If anyone can explain these things to me, I would very much appreciate it.

Monday, March 10, 2008

It's A Small World After All...

You know that game "6 degrees to Kevin Bacon" where you try to connect celebrities to a Kevin Bacon movie? I suck at it. But, that is irrelevant. The point here is that the world is a small, small place. Also, dangerous. Case in point: Caleb is dating this girl...we'll call her Mary. Mary goes to the high school where I teach. Caleb also has a friend...Suzie. Suzie is the daughter of a woman (Martha) I work with here at my high school. Suzie goes to Caleb's high school, but Suzie know's Mary(who goes to the high school where I teach) . Turns out Mary is taking a class from my friend, Martha, (mother of Suzie). And Suzie is in two classes with Caleb. Caleb tells Suzie all about Mary during class. Suzie tells her mother (Martha) all about Caleb and Mary. Suzie's mother comes to me and says "OH MY GOSH! Mary is DARLING! I bet Caleb and Mary are SOOOO cute together!" I laugh. Mary then goes to Martha's class and Martha, innocently, says, "How's Caleb!?". Mary is MORTIFIED that her teacher knows her boyfriend, sort of. Mary tells Caleb that Martha asked about him and now I am in trouble with Caleb for talking to Martha and Mary. Which I haven't. Martha has talked to Mary and to me, but I have initiated none of these conversations. Nevertheless, all this talking is my fault and I am in trouble. Suzie is also mad at her mother for talking to Mary and I about what Mary told Suzie and what Suzie now told her mother. We are both in trouble. Sigh. Cue the circus music...

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Happy days are here again!

When last I left you, dear readers, things must have seemed pretty...bleak. I apologize if my negativity brought anyone else down into grumpiness.
In the days since Monday (Dark, evil Monday) the grumpiness has dissipated. One reason for my new, more sunny, outlook is that all the 'calling people I don't know' (one of several things I 'hated' on Monday) paid off! Several of the places I have contacted about jobs have replied! Yippee! One, in particular, would be incredibly interesting. I will say no more, for fear of jinxing myself, but if you find yourself with a few free moments in the days to come, do please send 'good luck' vibes out into the universe for me! And, while you're at it, throw in a few for Isaac since we are quickly approaching his return to flight school! The countdown continues-28 days until we leave for Arizona. Isaac is dutifully studying his textbooks and watching the flight school instructional videos, sent to him by ATP and is sooooo excited to get started. I get to hear all about wind patterns and VFR conditions these days. It is actually pretty interesting-I'm vicariously learning all sorts of stuff I never knew I didn't know!
And, in totally unrelated news-I have started another quilt. After working on the first one for so long, it felt weird to have 'nothing' to do. So, I got some new fabric (various shades of red, cream and light brown-so pretty) and have started a "Log Cabin" style quilt. Maybe this one won't take a year!

Monday, March 3, 2008

Things I hate...

That's right. Things I hate. This morning, I woke up on the proverbial "wrong side of the bed" and realized that there are many things I hate. I hate crunchy peanut butter. Have you ever had crunchy butter? No. Why? Because butter is supposed to have a lovely smooth texture. As a member of the butter family, crunchy peanut butter is a horrible mutation of a wonderful thing. If I was in charge of the world, there would be no crunchy peanut butter. I also hate alarm clocks. Even when set to cheerful, wake-up-and-start-your-day-with-a-good-attitude music rather than the wake-up-and-kill-someone beeping, I really hate my alarm clock. I also hate the fact that, without fail, I wake-up 10 minutes before it is supposed to ring. Why, WHY can't I actually sleep for those 10 minutes, rather than lying in bed, half-asleep, waiting for the stupid alarm to go off? I hate cold showers. Enough said. I hate paper work. I hate stupid, bureaucratic, nonsensical paperwork that only exists to justify the job of someone too untalented to do anything else. I hate looking for a job. I hate calling people I don't know on the phone. I hate it when my computer won't work the way it is supposed too. Sigh. As you can see, this list could go on forever. Harumph.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Parent Teacher Conferences

Tonight and tomorrow night I have parent teacher conferences. They are the bane of my existence as a teacher. For those of you who have children or who might have children someday I have several words of advice for how to handle parent teacher conferences at the high school level:
1. If your child has an A and you do not have questions/concerns to discuss, please stay home. There is absolutely no reason for you to come wait in line for half an hour, to talk to me for only 2 seconds when the conversation will follow this pattern:
ME: Nice to see you again. Little Suzie still has an A. 100% it looks like! Do you have any questions or concerns?
ME: Great!
...Awkward silence until the parent decides that they have demonstrated that they are sufficiently 'involved' in their child's life and can reasonably leave...
2. Leave your child at home. It is a whole lot easier to tell you that your child makes me want to become a Tibetan Buddhist nun if he is not sitting there staring at me.
3. I can only be cheerful and smiley for so long. If you come to me 5 minutes before the end of three and a half hour stretch of parent teacher conferences, which come after an 8 hour day of teaching, and expect to have a long, detailed conversation about how I am not meeting your student's many and diverse needs, please do not be offended if I beat you with sticks.
4. Related to Number 2: I really would rather you didn't yell at your child in front of me. It makes me uncomfortable and I have unpleasant thoughts about what you do to your children when no one, much less a gym full of teachers and parents, are around to monitor your behavior.
5. Please do not complain about your child's other parent to me. I don't need to know that her mother/father is wholly inadequate as a parent and won't help her with her homework while you are slaving away at your job. I really, really don't want to know.

So, there you have it. Parent teacher conference etiquette for the 21st century. I just wish there was a way to communicate these rules to the parents I will actually see tonight.

Monday, February 25, 2008


On Saturday, my high school hosted the region debate tournament. I got volunteered to be in charge of this fun filled event months ago and was promised that "it isn't that hard!". Lies. Dirty, nasty lies. I spent hours preparing for over a hundred debaters to show up at my school, use our classrooms and, hopefully, qualify for the state tournament. Thankfully, I am blessed to have the world's most helpful husband, the best assistant coach on the planet (who, incidently is also married to a very nice and helpful man),a mother who took pity on me, and a very patient custodial staff. Isaac came to school with me at 6:30 in the morning on Saturday to help set up. He then spent most of the day judging Student Congress (not the most exciting event, which is why he was judging. No one else would). When he finished judging he immediately began cleaning up. By the time I was done presenting awards, he had cleaned most of the common areas we had used. The very patient custodial staff only had to empty trash cans and lock doors. My mother took the place of Kelsey, who destroyed her knee at dance practice and couldn't come judge for me. The amazing assistant coach took care of feeding 150 debaters, 60 judges and 10 coaches. Her darling husband ran errands, checked ballots, and helped Isaac clean up. Hooray for wonderful people! Because of their help, all went well. The highlights of the day were that no one died and the school did not burn down. The fact that most of our team qualified for state was a wonderful added bonus. :-) The trouble with all of this is that, for the past week and a half, my brain has been totally focused on getting this tournament set up. Now, I have this horrible feeling that I have forgotten and neglected other important tasks, but my brain is mush and I can't quite remember what those things might be. I hope they weren't too important.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


It is official! We have finally settled on a flight school! This means that Isaac will be leaving for Arizona the first week of April. He is looking forward to finishing his flight training, and it is an added bonus that the weather is so nice in Arizona! :-) I, tragically, will be staying here until at least the end of the school year. After that, I'll move as soon as I have a job offer. So exciting! Isaac should, barring death or other disaster, finish his program in August. WOOHOO! In other news-the trip to Texas was quite a success. The highlight of the adventure was seeing Morgan and Henry. Morgan has the kindest in-laws who graciously shared their limited time with Morgan and their grandkids with me. It was a lovely time. Henry is getting so big! The poor kid did try to put an entire piece of bread in his mouth and, despite my dire warnings of impending disaster, kept shoving it in while saying something about being "big enough for big bread"-it was hard to tell what he was saying around all the bread. This, as you probably guessed, ended badly for the little guy. It was not, however, the disaster Morgan made it out to be on her blog. He and Spencer are adorable! Not great sleepers, but adorable. :-)
And last among the progress updates (and most irrelevant to the rest of the post, not that there was an identifiable or unifing theme before, but whatever.), the quilt that has been in progress for nearly a year is finally finished! A word of advice: If you ever feel compelled to sew a quilt entirely by hand, make sure you have a significant block of uninterrupted time to work on said quilt-if you only work on it when you 'have time' it might end up taking you a year to finish. Just a thought.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

It's time for a revolution!

Here I am. All by myself in the great Republic of Texas. Well, not really by myself, because I came with three other people from my school. I am all by myself in my room because I didn't want to eat dinner poised precariously on top of a pointy tower. More on that later. Since I am basically alone and I don't really have much else to do, I am perusing the "news" online. And, I am once again reminded that most news stories aren't really news at all. For example I just read the headline, "Beagle scores Westminster first". Now, I should tell you, this headline can be found on a respectable new organization's homepage. A beagle and a dog show. On what amounts to the front page. Of all the things to put on the front page! I had to search around for election results, but I can tell you what won the Westminster dog show with no effort at all! Good Grief.
Now, I am positive I am not the only person who is incredibly annoyed by the trivia of the "news" so I propose we do something about it!
Thinking humans UNITE!!
It will be our own little revolution. Of course, I have absolutely no idea what we'll actually do about trivia and nonsense being passed off as news. All I know is that people with a group identity tend to be taken more seriously than one lone person. One lone person is a lunatic. A group of lunatics is a cause. Who's with me?!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Clancy, the giant baby

So, Clancy. He's huge. He has these giant floppy ears-very cute. Tragically, they also get ear infections pretty regularly. Gross. To try and prevent the ear infections, we have this handy-dandy ear cleaner stuff, which we use to clean his ears just about everyday. You would think that the stupid dog would appreciate the fact that I clean his ears, because this means that they don't get infected and sore. But no. He is a giant baby about his ears. He hates having me clean them. He whines and wiggles and shakes his giant head and generally acts like I am killing him. Yesterday was the worst though. He was sleeping by the table when I went over to try and clean his ears. He got up and hid behind Isaac. I got a cookie and tried to bribe him. He came out from behind Isaac but as soon as he saw the ear cleaner and cotton balls, he hid under the table and whined. He would not come out, no matter what bribe I offered. I finally went under there with him-a rather tight squeeze by the way-and tried to do the ears. He rolled over and pushed me away with his feet! I have scratches all over my hands and arms from trying to turn him over! I gave up. If he is smart enough to figure out that the white bottle and cotton balls mean I am going to clean his ears, why can't he figure out that I'm not trying to kill him?

Tuesday, February 5, 2008


The ceiling in my classroom is dripping. I guess, if I were to be specific, it is actually a light fixture in my classroom that is dripping copious amounts of water. I have gone to the custodians about this problem and have been assured that A) I and my students are not in danger of electrocution and B) There is nothing anyone can do about the constant drip. This has me slightly peeved. I, for one, do not believe that water pooling in a light fixture does not pose at least a small risk of electrocution and, on top of that, I am certain that something can be done. It has been my experience that when someone says "There's nothing we can do," what they really mean is, "There is nothing I am willing to do," and that just irritates me; almost as much as the steady drip...drip...drip... onto the floor and desks of my classroom.
Since there is, apparently, very little that anyone will do to solve this problem, I am considering an anonymous call to the fire marshal. He is the one who made our school librarian remove all couches and armchairs from the library because they are 'fuel for a fire', should a fire start in the library (to which instruction I responded: "Ummm. Did you not notice the shelves and shelves of books in the library? With paper?! The library is going up like a torch, with or without the chairs.")I am certain he will be interested in the electrocution risk, however remote, posed by the water in my light fixture.

Monday, February 4, 2008

I am slow..but I get there in the end.

So, Kara tagged me a few days ago and I am just now getting to it. As I am rather slow, it took me a little while to figure out what being 'tagged' meant. Anywho-here goes...

10 years ago...Ten years ago I was a senior in high school and had, in February, just found out that my stake president had lost my recommendation form for BYU and my application was going to be significantly late. I was not a happy camper. It all worked out in the end though. Let's see.... I also didn't have class on Fridays, which was nice. My senior year was not very exciting.

5 Things on my To-Do List Today...1. Email our school's webmaster...sigh. 2. Prepare lessons for a sub for next week. 3. Go grocery shopping 4. Finish grading AP tests. 5. Fill out financial aid forms for flight school....double sigh.

5 Snacks I Enjoy...1. Oreos. 2. Ice cream. 3. Dots (the candy). 4. Cracker Barrel biscuits. 5. Baked Lay's potato chips (seriously, these are so much better than regular potato chips)

5 Places I Have Lived... 1. Provo, Utah 2. Germantown, Maryland 3. Wausau, Wisconsin. 4. Mission Viejo, California. 5. Wichita, Kansas

5 Jobs I've Had... 1. Teacher 2. Hotel Front Desk Clerk 3. Tutor 4. Test Question evaluator (a totally random, but rather interesting, job) 5. Queen of Everything at Odyssey Recreational Learning. If you don't believe me, I can show you my business cards. (my parents own the company and let me decide my own job title. Everyone called me the Office Nazi, though. That hurt.)

5 Things People Don't Know About Me...I have no idea. My life is an open book...let me think...Ok, here goes. 1. When I started at BYU I was a microbiology major and wanted to go to medical school but by the time I graduated I had declared 11 different majors. 2. I was 'associate of the month', after working for 1 month at a summer job at Sam's Club. I was only there for 2 months. They loved me there. 3. I really like winter. 4. I, apparently, knew I would marry Isaac when I was 12. It's amazing what one reads in one's old journals! 5. From about the age of 5 until my junior year of high school I wanted to be the pilot of the space shuttle. I found out my junior year, as I was applying to the Air Force Academy, that my eye sight was too bad (by the tiniest little bit) to fly jets-which one has to do if one wants to fly the space shuttle. The day the dream died was a dark day in my life. Really. I was heartbroken.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Flight Schools...literally everywhere

Isaac, as was mentioned in a previous post, is going back to flight school soon. This, at first glance, seems like an easy thing to do. Afterall, how many flight schools can there possibly be? The answer is thousands. Literally thousands. And they are all different! Self-paced curriculum versus semester style? One-on-one versus small groups? Partnerships with airlines versus partnerships with corporations that have private planes? Academy versus University? Florida? Kansas? Utah? California? Arizona? Alaska? Nevada? Colorado?Georgia? ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just thinking about this gives me a headache. Was deciding where to go to college this difficult? Because I don't remember it being this hard. Or this expensive! Someday, we might figure out where he's going. In the meantime, I'm eating another oreo. For breakfast.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I am a total nerd...

YIPPEE!!!!!!!! I just received my fancy-schmancy (actually, it was just an email) invitation to the AP World History Reading. It is a fairly big deal to be invited to this and so, yes, I am going to brag a little bit:
Yea Me! :-)
Bragging over.
I know that you are thinking, "What the heck is the AP World History Reading and why does this matter?" Well, dear reader, I will tell you. In fact, I will tell you what it is even if you weren't wondering. It is a week in June when a whole bunch of AP teachers and college professors get together and read/score the AP World History exam essays. I know; it doesn't sound like the most exciting time in the universe. And really, reading the exams is not the good part. The good part is that every major world historian comes to this event and this gives one an opportunity to meet and talk with these people. These are the historians one wants to meet and talk to if one ever wants to help edit a textbook, or present at a seminar. And I get to go. The fact that I am excited about this just shows what a giant nerd I really am. But I don't care! Heehee. It is also nice because I get paid to be there. :-) The only tragic part about all of this is that I have to go to Colorado. The AP language teachers get to go to Daytona Beach. I don't know how the poor history teachers ended up in Colorado when a lovely beach was an option, but I am glad that I am not one of the groups that is going to Nebraska. That would be very unappealing.
YIPPEE FOR ME!!!! (Sorry, that just slipped out. I promise I am done :-) )

Sunday, January 27, 2008

The debate from H---

This weekend my kids competed in a very large, invitational debate tournament at a local high school. It did not go well. I felt so bad for them! We had a pretty good night on Friday and then found out on Saturday that the debaters had each only won one of their rounds. Tragic. They were so sure they had done well. Then, the hellishness began on Saturday. The day began with 2 of the debaters calling to tell me they would not be coming because they were throwing up. We arrived at the school and I promptly fell off the stupid stairs and twisted my ankle. It swelled up like a balloon and is now a very lovely black and blue color. Yippee. Then, as I was sitting in my invalid state, I had three more debaters call me and tell me they were throwing up. Gross. I eventually sent 4 debaters home from the tournament. Poor things. As I left one more kid, from another team, began throwing up. In a trash can. In front of about 400 debaters. It was very distressing for him. Anyway-it wasn't the greatest weekend, but all the kids were surprisingly upbeat about it. They even offered to steal a wheelchair for me. Now that's love! :-)

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Isaac, the beloved

Isaac has been substituting at my school for a friend of mine. A whole bunch of my AP students are also in her English classes, so they have had Isaac all week. They've finally figured out that we are 'related'-I thought it was rather entertaining that it took them a week to figure out, but whatever- and now all I hear about is "Mr. Montague is so cool" or "I wish Mr. Montague was our teacher all the time." They have even requested that he be my sub when I go to Texas next month. How does he do that?!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Craptacular ESL

A bit of advice: If ever you find yourself planning an epic move to the southwestern United States at exactly the same time your employer offers a free course of study which will add an English as a Second Language endorsement to your teaching license, and you think to yourself "This must be providencial! I will take this class, I will learn many important and wonderful things that will help me to be an effective teacher to darling English Language Learners in the American Southwest. I will sign up, post haste!" IMMEDIATELY lie down somewhere dark and quiet until the wonder and urge to sign up passes. If you don't, you will pray on a daily basis, as you did in fifth grade, that the heavens will open up and gift you with, not a snow day, but a snow year. Trust me, I know.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Church makes me tired...

Isaac and I teach the CTR 7 class at church. Apparently, as we were informed when we were asked to teach them, this class had the reputation of being one of 'those' classes. It's been a couple of weeks and I haven't seen any of the behaviors that would indicate that this class was any different than other six year olds. We even had a good lesson today. Until sharing time. During sharing time, I almost sat on a child. On purpose. It seemed to me to be a good way to get this child to stay put and to stop smacking the kid next to him, since I couldn't move between them because I was already sitting between two who could not handle sitting together. I spent all of singing and sharing time reminding the darlings that we had talked about making good choices and they were not making good choices by throwing things at the class behind us, or sliding out of their seats until the bottoms of their dresses were over their heads. This seems to be a favorite passtime of the six year old girls. I think we need to have a lesson about modesty. Isaac was literally holding onto a child's arm to prevent him from punching the arm of the boy sitting next to him. We moved the boy. The boy took this as an invitation to punch Isaac in the arm. One look from Isaac ended that. I wonder how he does that? As they prepared to leave, one of them looked at me and said "I'm sorry I didn't make good choices today." and then skipped out the door. Maybe they are learning something after all.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Too cute...

After yesterday's blog I bet ya'll think I have unhappy feelings towards my job. I don't! Most days I really like my job. Teenagers are funny. Case in point: I recently had the following conversation with one of my debate students during a discussion of the presidential candidates:

Me: I think that if _______is our next president, I will have to move to Canada.

Student (VERY earnestly): OH! You could live in Mexico with my grandma! She'd let you.

Me: I'll keep that in mind.

Student: No, really! She'd let you!

I thought it was very kind of him to offer his grandmother as my host and didn't feel that it would have been productive to remind him that the primary appeal of Canada is that Candadians speak English!

I also recently had a conversation with one of the students Isaac was tutoring-she was helping me find his classroom so I could wait while he finished up after school.

Me: So, how do you like Mr. Montague?

Girl: OH! HE is the BEST!

Me: That's good to hear.

Girl: So, who are you anyway?

Me: I'm Mr. Montague's wife.

Girl (very sad): Oh. So he IS married.

It must be very hard to be a 12 year old, seventh grader. :-) Who knew Isaac was such a heartbreaker?

Thursday, January 17, 2008

A little bit of venting...

Must. Take. Deep. Breaths.
All week long I have had to listen to the complaining of students who are just now, 3 days before the end of the quarter, noticing that their percentage points are in the single digits. Now, I think that wanting good grades is great. But when someone comes to me 3 days before the end of the quarter, with 15 missing assignments and says, "Is there anything I can do to get my grade up? I really want to pass your class!" All I want to say is "If that were true, you would have DONE YOUR HOMEWORK WHEN IT WAS ASSIGNED!" and then maybe beat him/her a little bit with sticks. I don't because, well, they're teenagers and everyone knows their brains are marinating in hormones and endorphines and because of this they can't really think rationally most of the time. But, when PARENTS get on my case, I really want to lose it!

Actual conversation with a parent:

Parent: "My child is failing your class"

Me: "Yes. It seems that your child is missing most of the homework assignments and has failed every test this quarter."

Parent: "Can my child pass?"

Me: "No."

Parent: "Why not? There are still a couple of days left in the quarter!"

Me: "I am sorry, but it is too late to fix a 20%"

Parent: "Will you at least let my child do the missing assignments?"

Me: "Yes, for half credit. There is nothing we can do about the failed tests at this point though."

Parent: "So, my child isn't going to pass?"

Me: "No."

Parent: "Well, isn't there anything you can do about this?"

Me: "No, but there is something your CHILD can do in the future! He can do his homework! He can study for tests! There is something you can do too. You can check your kid's grades before the end of the quarter! You can make sure he does his homework! You can unplug the computer/video games/television! ARGHHHHHHHHHH!"

Alright, I didn't really say the last part, but I very much wanted to. It was tempting. Very tempting.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008


Hello all!
We've finally joined the 21st century and created a blog. Well, by 'we', I mean 'me'. Even though I'm doing the typing, it is supposed to be about all of us. Isaac is currently working on our full website, and when that it finished, it will host our blog! Everything to do with creating the website is totally over my head, so I'll leave that part to him. This is a 'blog for dummies' and that suits me just fine!
As for what we are up to these days, here's the quick summary:
Me: I am teaching full time at a local high school. I teach AP World History and Debate. In addition to my teaching, I coordinate a school wide Academy program (I assume you, dear reader, are not interested in the details of what a high school Academy is. If that assumption is misguided, let me know and I'll explain. ;-) ). I also attend school part-time, working towards adding an ESL endorsement to my teaching license.
Isaac: Finished his private helicopter pilot training and will start his commercial, fixed wing pilot training this spring. In the meantime he substitutes in my district and keeps his computer skills up to date (can't let that degree go to waste!) He is also in charge of most 'dog' care in the house. He and Clancy are joined at the hip-especially since Clancy is just tall enough to connect at the hip!