In Which the Montagues Get in Shape...Sort of.

So. Recently the intrepid Husband and I have decided to return to "working out" (a phrase I don't really understand...but, whatever). You see, we both used to be ridiculously active/athletic/fit and trim. Seriously. STOP LAUGHING! We were. We both used to excerise regularly. At one point in my life, I ran 5-7 miles a day. Everyday. 'Cuz I am awesome like that (okay, I was awesome like that). However, we have now devolved into ridiculously inactive/unathletic/roundish. For Isaac, this change came on over the past year as he confronted 14 hour work/school days and perpetual exhaustion. For me, well, let's say I've been working on my Guinness Record for "The World's Only Perfectly Spherical Human" for quite some time now. I was nearly there too...it's a pity to quit this close to the prize. Nevertheless, we have recently re-located our motivation and have begun to exercise on a regular basis. It's been about a week now and, let me tell you, IT SUCKS.
We went "running" yesterday. And by "we went running" I mean Isaac ran and I plodded along and yelled "How much longer?!" and "That's impossible! Show me the watch! What are you trying to do, kill me?!" at regular intervals. And the longer I ran, the more shrill I became. I am sure I was a delight to be around. A delight. 2 minutes of running, followed by 2 minutes of walking (repeat 7 times) nearly killed me AND I USED TO RUN EVERYDAY. Turns out "getting in shape" is about a MILLION times harder than "staying in shape". But, alas, I am committed. I have a schedule, a chart, a menu; the whole nine yards. All because, although the Guinness Record would be cool and all, I really don't want to resemble a human basketball anymore.

And Then There Was One...

Remember when I explained that I have an intense dislike/fear of shopping? And that because of said intense dislike/fear of shopping I own only 2 pairs of pants? And remember when I said I wouldn't know what to do if I ever needed to buy more pants?

THAT DAY HAS COME. My tempermental dryer, which has only 2 temperature settings- "nearly hot enough to melt steel" and "just barely warm enough to actually dry the clothes"-has shrunk one of my pairs of jeans and now they look like they belong on a woman 3 inches shorter and about 50lbs lighter. Crap, crap, crap, crap, CRAP.

Does anyone out there want to go shopping for me? Anyone? Anyone? I'll pay you and make you cookies and if you do a really good job, I'll even sew something pretty for you. Please? PLEASE?