Go Here:
http://granolasdodallas.blogspot.com/2009/12/fantastic-asstastic-photo-voto.html
Read. Be amused. Also, be warned...the word "ass" appears frequently; you'll understand why when you read it. It's amusing. Trust me.
I'm in. Are you?
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Memos
Dear Jon Schmidt et al,
The concert last night was fantastic! My husband and I were so impressed. You and those who worked with you are incredibly talented and such fun to watch and listen to. Thanks for a great performance!
Sincerely,
Erin
Dear Audience at the Jon Schmidt Concert,
You. Suck. Seriously. Were you people raised in a barn? I have been in audiences made up entirely of high school students that were more respectful and well-behaved than you people. Who on earth comes to a concert late and thinks "I know, I will call the people I am meeting in the middle of the performance so they can tell me where to sit?" rather than just waiting till you can see, or taking an available seat until intermission? And who the (*^&% actually answers their phone and starts to talk in the middle of the performance!? Is it so hard to just wait a moment at the back of the auditorium so that you don't interrupt the entire concert?
Additionally, I cannot believe I had to ask a grown man to turn off his phone so it would stop buzzing and blinding me everytime he got a text message. Twice. I had to ask you twice. Unless someone has died, there is no information being texted to you that is that important. And, if there is information you must have that instant, then leave!And to the person sitting next to Isaac who thought "covering" your phone with one hand while texting with the other was acceptable, all you did was create a strobe light effect. Super. Annoying. At least Isaac only had to ask you once to knock it off. And who the (^&% thinks it is acceptable to talk, non-stop throughout an entire concert? You are lucky I only had to bust out my "I will kill you with my eyes" stare once, otherwise, you might be dead.
Finally, I know he/she is cute and cuddly and all that jazz, but please, for the love of everything holy, leave your baby with a sitter. That is what a babysitter is for.
Raised in a barn, I tell you.
Sincerely,
Erin
The concert last night was fantastic! My husband and I were so impressed. You and those who worked with you are incredibly talented and such fun to watch and listen to. Thanks for a great performance!
Sincerely,
Erin
Dear Audience at the Jon Schmidt Concert,
You. Suck. Seriously. Were you people raised in a barn? I have been in audiences made up entirely of high school students that were more respectful and well-behaved than you people. Who on earth comes to a concert late and thinks "I know, I will call the people I am meeting in the middle of the performance so they can tell me where to sit?" rather than just waiting till you can see, or taking an available seat until intermission? And who the (*^&% actually answers their phone and starts to talk in the middle of the performance!? Is it so hard to just wait a moment at the back of the auditorium so that you don't interrupt the entire concert?
Additionally, I cannot believe I had to ask a grown man to turn off his phone so it would stop buzzing and blinding me everytime he got a text message. Twice. I had to ask you twice. Unless someone has died, there is no information being texted to you that is that important. And, if there is information you must have that instant, then leave!And to the person sitting next to Isaac who thought "covering" your phone with one hand while texting with the other was acceptable, all you did was create a strobe light effect. Super. Annoying. At least Isaac only had to ask you once to knock it off. And who the (^&% thinks it is acceptable to talk, non-stop throughout an entire concert? You are lucky I only had to bust out my "I will kill you with my eyes" stare once, otherwise, you might be dead.
Finally, I know he/she is cute and cuddly and all that jazz, but please, for the love of everything holy, leave your baby with a sitter. That is what a babysitter is for.
Raised in a barn, I tell you.
Sincerely,
Erin
Thursday, December 10, 2009
An Ode to the Marshmallow
Erin's Top 5 Reasons to Love the Marshmallow
1. Marshmallows are soft and squishy, without having the disgusting slimy texture that so many other soft and squishy foods have (like cooked carrots: soft, squishy, but also slimy. No. Bueno.). Given the soft and squishy nature of the marshmallow, they are also a silent food. You could be very stealthy eating a marshmallow.
2. Marshmallows are sweet without being overpowering. Pixie Stix=sweet, but too sweet. Marshmallows (unless you ate a whole bag)=perfect level of sweet.
3. Marshmallows are versatile. They can be eaten as is, they can be made into new and delightful candies, they can be baked, roasted, fried (never actually tried that, but I am assuming that if you can fry a jelly bean, you can fry a marshmallow). They can be added to puddings, cakes, ice cream, fruit salads. Without marshmallows there would be no easy to prepare cereal treats. Marshmallows come in a variety of flavors. Marshmallows can be big or small. Marshmallows can be found in a jar or a bag. Marshmallows are versatile.
4. Marshmallows are a science experiment and a food. Have you ever microwaved a marshmallow? Try it sometime and you will learn a great deal about the expansion of hot air (put the marshmallows into a container you are not emotionally attached to because marshmallows are also sticky). Excellent teaching tool.
5. Marshmallows are low in calories. Are you trying to follow a soul crushing, no-fun-allowed diet? Well. A marshmallow has only 25 calories. You could eat four and have yourself a perfectly lovely 100 calorie snack that's almost like eating candy. You could space those 4 out over the whole day and have a little treat whenever you wanted. You're welcome.
1. Marshmallows are soft and squishy, without having the disgusting slimy texture that so many other soft and squishy foods have (like cooked carrots: soft, squishy, but also slimy. No. Bueno.). Given the soft and squishy nature of the marshmallow, they are also a silent food. You could be very stealthy eating a marshmallow.
2. Marshmallows are sweet without being overpowering. Pixie Stix=sweet, but too sweet. Marshmallows (unless you ate a whole bag)=perfect level of sweet.
3. Marshmallows are versatile. They can be eaten as is, they can be made into new and delightful candies, they can be baked, roasted, fried (never actually tried that, but I am assuming that if you can fry a jelly bean, you can fry a marshmallow). They can be added to puddings, cakes, ice cream, fruit salads. Without marshmallows there would be no easy to prepare cereal treats. Marshmallows come in a variety of flavors. Marshmallows can be big or small. Marshmallows can be found in a jar or a bag. Marshmallows are versatile.
4. Marshmallows are a science experiment and a food. Have you ever microwaved a marshmallow? Try it sometime and you will learn a great deal about the expansion of hot air (put the marshmallows into a container you are not emotionally attached to because marshmallows are also sticky). Excellent teaching tool.
5. Marshmallows are low in calories. Are you trying to follow a soul crushing, no-fun-allowed diet? Well. A marshmallow has only 25 calories. You could eat four and have yourself a perfectly lovely 100 calorie snack that's almost like eating candy. You could space those 4 out over the whole day and have a little treat whenever you wanted. You're welcome.
Friday, December 4, 2009
I Couldn't Make This Up If I Tried...
Apparently, it might snow here in grand ol' AZ. Trust me, I am not holding my breath. However, the local news thinks this is quite the Event. In an attempt to educate the general public, one local station just offered helpful tips for handling a snow "storm". First on the list?
Come on, guess! Alright, I'll tell you...
Do not stop your car to play in the snow
Wow. Just, wow.
Come on, guess! Alright, I'll tell you...
Do not stop your car to play in the snow
Wow. Just, wow.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Further Proof That Life is Fundamentally Unfair...
Isaac and I have been "working out" consistently for about 2 weeks now. Weight loss tally:
Isaac: -10 lbs
Erin: +3 lbs
Why do I even bother?
Isaac: -10 lbs
Erin: +3 lbs
Why do I even bother?
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