Remember how I had the easiest pregnancy in the history of pregnancy? Remember how I never got sick, didn't have any tragic pregnancy symptoms and then had the fastest labor ever? I think the universe has decided that I had it too easy and is now playing "catch up" on the unpleasantness. What is the problem you ask? Well, I shall tell you. It's nursing. It is not my favorite thing. Not even a little bit. I realize that this probably qualifies me for the "bad mom" club (does such a thing exist? Perhaps I should start one...) but it's true. I think I would rather go through labor on a daily basis than deal with all the unpleasantness that has come with nursing. I dislike feeling bruised and sore all the time. I dislike feeling nauseated whilst nursing or pumping. I dislike pumping during the day because I am working. I dislike supplementing with formula despite nursing and pumping 24/7 because my little Levi eats like a 250lb linebacker. I strongly dislike the mastitis that has developed and for which I am now taking large quantities of antibiotics. The list goes on and on ...all in all, nursing has not been a great experience for us. In other news, I am eternally grateful for Isaac, who was up all night with Levi so I could sleep and start to recover a bit from the fever/chills/nausea and excruciating pain of the last couple of days (see above...mastitis and all that).
And that concludes my complaining for today. Carry on.
12 comments:
I had the same thing and I swear by a product called a breast shield. They sell them at baby r us or any nursing store. They take away all pain while things heal. They are plastic and can be washed so you just need two!
It sounds like you are having latch problems! My mom is a lactation specialist & could really, really help. She saved me with my last baby. Email your phone number & she can give you a call. A little support goes a long way. nataliemfrancis@gmail.com
You are not a bad mom. I breastfed both boys until they were 1 (for which I always like to pat myself on the back and reflect on what a superior mother I was to nurse and pump that whole time) and never had any problem with milk production (thankfully) but still basically hated every minute of breastfeeding. Even after working with lactation consultants, trying every cream and product to help, it still hurt every time. I was constantly infected with thrush, mastitis, and every other possible breastfeeding related ailment. I remember wanting to scream everytime Dallin latched on.
Don't feel bad, breastfeeding can be a struggle for lots of moms.
No you are not a bad mom. I couldn't produce enough for Michayla and she ended up jaundice for a week and a half. I decided that it wasn't fair to starve my child and gave her formula. I thought Michayla would be slower or get sick more often and the first time she got sick was when she was about 20 months with croup and she is by far not slow at all.
Oh dear! I'm so sorry. But it really will get better. Really soon, I hope. And no need to start the bad mom club. We've all been members at some point! (Not that you're a bad mom for hating breastfeeding....)
Or you can just decide to be done, get a good formula, cuddle your baby when you give him a bottle 37 times a day, and dispense with the guilt and be happy being a mom and not worry about it!
MA
Michelle-That's a good idea. Thanks for the suggestion!
Natalie-I was, indeed (well, more specifically, Levi was having some troubles...)we've got them straightened out and now we are just waiting to heal. :-)
Amanda-I am really impressed that you actually kept it up for a whole year, even with all those issues. I really don't think I could do that.
April-I've had a similar problem; he just eats way more and way more often than I seem to be able to accommodate. :-( Oh well, that's the blessing of formula and I'm glad it's available so he's not hungry all the time!
Ugh, mastitis is awful! And breastfeeding is hard, despite what they tell you ("if you have a proper latch, it shouldn't hurt at all!" HAH!). Good luck!
Oh Erin,
I am glad things are getting better but I feel for you. When Nevaeh and I first started working through nursing I HATED it and swore she was like thinking I was a snack bar or 24/7 buffet. She snacked constantly and our midwife worked with her for a month to work things out. It did get better. We made it a year. McKail, ugh, because he was a preemie we never really got the whole nursing thing down so I pumped 8 times a day. Mastitis, plugged milk ducts, etc... yep, been there, done that. Was told that eating old fashioned oats was the key to making more milk for hungry babies, whether this actually helped, I do not know. I pumped 18 months for that boy. Nadirah, my gift from God, nursed like a pro, never any problems for 13 months before I cut her off so I feel like I've experienced every dimension of nursing. Good luck hun. You are NOT at all a bad mom. I can remember crying and telling Jeremy I was a bad mom and wanted to quit nursing but he always talked me out of it and I'm glad he did. Breast shields, lanolin, and these awesome gel pads that you can put in ice and use to soothe are all good tricks that got me through it. Good luck. And Levi is adorable!!!! What a lucky boy to have such a devoted mommy!
Lisa
Oh poor Erin! I so have been there, more than once with my kids. Nevaeh was a perpetual snacker and I think she thought I was a 24/7 buffet. I never loved nursing her but we made it a year nonetheless. McKail was never able to nurse because of being a preemie so I pumped 6-8 times a day and, though pumping led to mastitis and bleeding and plugged milk ducts I wouldn't give up. We made it 18 months. Nadirah was a nursing pro and we made it, problem free for 13 months. I was told eating old fashioned oats (oatmeal) is good and there are some herbs that are good too apparently. Nipple shields work for some as does lanolin to soothe soreness, hot wash clothes and these gel pads that can be put in the freezer and applied to soothe or warmed up I think. Good luck. I feel for you. Levi is adorable and so lucky to have such a devoted mommy!!
Your breastfeeding experience sounds a lot like mine. I went to a lactation specialist, and she saved my life! I have every possible breastfeeding accessory on the planet, if you want any of them. I have breast shields, and nipple shields, and supplementary nursing systems, and nursing covers, and nursing books, and several pumps (one REALLY good one), etc. And, even after all that, I'm no longer nursing. It lasted about five weeks, which I thought was a lifetime. Good luck!
AMa-
I lasted about 5 weeks too. The antibiotics for the mastitis completely destroyed my milk supply and we've had to switch to formula. :-( Maybe it will work out with the next baby...assuming there is another baby! :-)
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