Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dear Easy-Off Oven Cleaner-

I think you and I need to discuss the generally accepted definitions of the terms "Easy" and "Off". It would seem that you, dear Oven Cleaner, did not get the message that "easy" is generally used to mean "without significant effort" and "off" means, well, OFF. Combining these terms in the context of oven cleaning (which you purport to do) means that I will be able to get oven grime off the oven without significant effort. In this light, you, Easy-Off Oven Cleaner, are a complete failure. Perhaps a more accurate name for you would be "Plan on At Least an Hour of Concerted Scrubbing to Effectively Get ANYTHING-OFF Oven Cleaner". You have only ONE job. ONE. And you fail at it utterly and completely.

I hate you. Almost as much as I hate cleaning the oven and the Braxton-Hicks contractions that cleaning the oven caused. I'm going to lie down now.

You stink. Literally. (Notice I did not mention the issues I have with your advertising yourself as "fume free" and lemon-fresh". That's a topic for another day.)

With loathing (and pruny hands and a contracting tummy),


1 comment:

The Nelsen Family: said...

Hahahaha. I hate cleaning ovens. I would love to know what the previous occupants of our house did to the oven, because it took THREE bottles of oven cleaner and who knows how many rolls of paper towels. I wish I could have just thrown the oven away and bought a new one.