If you want something done right...

just do it yourself.

This is an important life lesson. I was painfully reminded of this again today. And now, I have twin bruises on my arms as proof that trusting someone else to do a job for you is a bad.plan.

You see, today I had to have blood drawn (one of the many fabulous perks of being pregnant). Having blood drawn is, for me, a smallish problem. My little arm veins do not like being stabbed. They collapse rather quickly after being stabbed, which inevitably results in me being stabbed multiple times. I try to explain this fact to the little blood-draw-y people, but they usually don't listen to me.

I explained to "Brandon the Blood Guy" that attempting to draw 3 vials of blood from my right arm would be a mistake. I explained that it would not work and I would end up being stabbed multiple times and that this was a sure-fire way to make me Cranky and would he please just listen to me and use my left arm to start with? He tried to argue...

"The veins in your right arm are more prominent" he said.
"That's all part of their evil plot" I said, "I promise it won't work."
"Well, I suppose we can try your left arm" Brandon Blood-Guy replied
"Super" I said.

And we did. And he drew 2 vials of blood. And he stopped. He de-needled me. My arm immediately developed a large blood red bump (does this everytime...I tried to warn him...) I wondered what on earth he was doing since I can read and the order specifically said 3 vials. He paused. He read the order again. He said. "I'll be right back." He returned. Sheepish. "We need to do that again" he said.

"I know." I replied with a deep sigh. "I suppose it won't work to poke the same place again?"

He looks, he sees the large red/purple bump bruisy thing that has already developed on my arm. "No, that won't work..." He begins to inspect both arms, front and back, wrists, hands etc...looking for a suitable place to stab. He finally settles on one. In my right arm. "It probably won't work" I say.

"Well, let's give it a try" Brandon the Blood Guy says. And he stabs me. And it worked. For about 2 seconds. Then it collapsed. As I said it would. And he said "That will have to be enough; I'm not poking you again."

I was grateful. And bruised. And also annoyed. For one, brief, shining moment, it seemed that I would get of out the lab with only 1 stab wound and 1 large bruise. Alas, it was not to be. And now I am looking into Blood Drawing Person School because really, this cannot possibly be a difficult job and, clearly, the people currently doing this job are incompetent. So, from now on, I'm just doing it myself.