Indeed.

Still Alive...

Hello World! How have you been? In case you were wondering, we are indeed still alive and well. Busy, as usual, but alive and well.
That is all.

Dear JoAnne Fabric and Crafts:

****Disclaimer: The following memo may be 1)completely boring and 2)completely incomprehensible to anyone who doesn't sew regularly. I apologize in advance. Feel free to return to your regularly scheduled activities.****

I am so over you. Seriously. I have often questioned the legitimacy of your "sales" and the quality of your products, but this was the last straw. I would like to know how it is possible that, out of 30 (yes, 30)quarter flats purchased from your store, exactly 10 are use-able? Really, I'd like to hear an explanation, because this is ridiculous. I would think that a store that purports to be a "fabric" retailer would understand that it should not use permanent adhesive to hold said quarter flats together. And yet, I just spent an inordinate amount of time trying to peel, scrape, rub and wash the adhesive off the fabric. While doing so, I discovered that the fabric itself was of such low quality that even the gentlest rubbing and washing left holes. Really? I mean, I didn't expect the highest quality fabric to begin with, but this is beyond absurd.
I recently resolved to frequent my LQS and knitting boutique more regularly because, even though their prices are slightly more expensive, I want to support local businesses. This incident only furthers my resolve. Now, I am also confident that the quality of the products far exceeds yours and that I will actually be able to use the items I purchased.
In short, I cannot imagine a reason for me to return to your store. Goodbye forever.
With extreme annoyance,
Erin

Dear Student,

Since you are clearly not very bright, allow me to offer some advice:
When you purchase a paper off the internet and turn it in as if you wrote it yourself, do not attempt to make it look like you wrote the paper by including a "reference page". I will check the reference(s) you list. When I discover that the reference listed therein is, in actuality, the site from which you purchased the paper, I will think you are the stupidest person on earth. And then, I will laugh at you. And show my husband what you did. And he will laugh at you. Then, I will blog about you and everyone I have ever known will laugh at you. Because that's the kind of teacher I am.

Sincerely,
Erin

Arizona is Trying to Kill Me: Part 3

Today, as I was driving home from the grocery store I saw two very large black birds sitting atop the power poles that line our apartment complex parking lot. I didn't think too much of this at first because there are quite a few large water birds that perch up there from time to time (taking a break from the pond below, I always assume) but as I looked more closely I realized these birds were not, in fact, large cranes. They were VULTURES. Giant, bald, red-headed vultures. Just sitting up there. Looking at me while I unloaded my groceries.

Not only is Arizona trying to kill me, but the vultures are already lying (well, sitting) in wait, ready to pounce...it's more than a little disturbing.