Craptacular ESL

A bit of advice: If ever you find yourself planning an epic move to the southwestern United States at exactly the same time your employer offers a free course of study which will add an English as a Second Language endorsement to your teaching license, and you think to yourself "This must be providencial! I will take this class, I will learn many important and wonderful things that will help me to be an effective teacher to darling English Language Learners in the American Southwest. I will sign up, post haste!" IMMEDIATELY lie down somewhere dark and quiet until the wonder and urge to sign up passes. If you don't, you will pray on a daily basis, as you did in fifth grade, that the heavens will open up and gift you with, not a snow day, but a snow year. Trust me, I know.